The Jane Child One Hit Wonder Room

last post....go to my facebook page now

2010-03-24T19:39:00.001-06:00

I'm done at the jane child one hit wonder room....blogs now exclusively at facebook....gonna miss this place! :)

Acts Community Bible Study: "The Holy Spirit"

2009-10-11T16:57:00.002-06:00

well, last couple Community Bible studies have been regarding how Christians/persons of faith deal with that neat "third" option called "The Holy Spirit." You know...the thing besides God and Jesus that fulfills our souls in our quest to understand and rest for the day we will be in heaven? In looking at our "fullness"-involvement in God...as Romans Chapter 8:5 says..."Those who are dominated by the sinful nature think about sinful things, but those who are controlled by the Holy Spirit think about things that please the spirit."...It appears our needing for the holy spirit to be in us will provide that very fullness. But how do we go about it? A great illustration in our lecture was an excerpt from Max Lucado...who explained it this way. Max compares the role of the Spirit in our lives to a guy who wants to learn to dance. He's a rational, intelligent sort of guy, so he goes to the bookstore and buys a how-to book. He takes it home and begins studying. He does everything it says with meticulous care. When the instructions say sway, he sways. When the instructions say lean, he leans. When the instructions say spin, he spins. He even cuts out paper footprints and arranges them on the family room floor so he will know exactly where to step.

Finally, he thinks he's got it down pat. He calls his wife in and says, "Honey, watch!" With book in hand and reading aloud so she'll know he's done his homework, he follows the instructions step by step. It says, "Take one step with your right foot." So he takes one step with his right foot. Then it says, "Turn slowly to the left." He turns slowly to the left. He keeps it up, reading and then moving, reading and dancing, through the whole thing.

Then he collapses exhausted on the sofa and says to his wife, "What do you think? I executed it perfectly!" To which she replies, "You executed it all right. You killed it!"

The bumfuzzled husband says, "But I followed the rules, I laid out the pattern, I did everything the book said . . ."

"But," she sighs, "you forgot the most important part. WHERE WAS THE MUSIC?!!

With that, she puts on a CD. "Try it again. Quit worrying about the steps and just follow the music." She holds out her hand, and he gets up and takes it.

The music starts, and the next thing the guy knows

he's dancing without the book! :)

We Christians are prone to follow the book while ignoring the music. We master the doctrine, outline the chapters, memorize verse, debate the rules, and stiffly step down the dance floor of life with no music in our hearts.

Dancing with no music is tough stuff.

Jesus knew that.

For that reason, on the night before His death He introduced the disciples to the song maker of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit.

I hope you have already decided to find this music for yourself! Ask God to help you make the leap from stepping to the heart of it all...the music of the holy spirit! :)

Spiritual Accountability

2009-09-28T20:56:00.002-06:00

So I've been working on answering the question a friend posed to me the other week...."What do you think of spiritual accountability"?....well...I have sort of had an idea of what that exactly is, but I needed to be sure...so after some study...here are some thoughts I've come up with...

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover’s life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God." -Philippians 1:9-10

Holy friendship – spiritual accountability – must begin with loving with the heart of Christ.

but most importantly….With the heart of Christ.

But what is true accountability? What model should we use?

Flourishing Love: We must have an open, honest, loving relationship with one another. Without it, we cannot fully trust that what we confess is going to stay with the person we confess it to.

Love much and Love well: We must love each other with the love of Christ, because without that love, true accountability is meaningless.

Love appropriately: This one is tough. We must be honest with each other, no matter how ugly the truth is.. and trust that the other person is going to remain loyal.
Use your head/test your feelings: We must balance our feelings with the word of God above anything else.

Live a life that Jesus would be proud of: This one is self explanatory.
Getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God: This is the one that is so meaningful.

True accountability is caring about someone so much that your desire is to help them live a life that brings them & others closer to Christ....not closer to you...and that is something I have been "trapped" by the deceiver, no doubt!

Now lets take a look at what Spiritual accountability is not:

-To gossip about others
-To be judgmental of others

The most difficult thing, to me...is not the gossiping or the judging...but the "story" behind the person I want to pray for. I am an information person. I am an intellectual. I need information...but I am learning day by day to rely on God to provide the answers...

Gossiping and Judging others grieves the heart of Christ, and we need to be very very careful that we do not turn our spiritual accountability with someone into a spiritual “beating” of another person. Trust me, it is so very easy to do… sometimes without even knowing you're doing it. It could be as simple as using someones behavior as an example and then it goes south from there, turning into something that it never was intended to become. I know...I lost someone I had a very big heart for over it!
Christian life is hard enough… and you need someone you can trust wholeheartedly with the good, bad and not so pretty. I think I have many in my church family I can turn to for this...and it makes me cry tears of joy everyday!

So I encourage you, if you do not have one already, to get a spiritual accountability partner. If NOTHING ELSE, talk to your Pastor/Elder and ask him to hold you accountable, or to reccommend someone to get to know once he/she gets to know you a little.

Trust me.. It is a difficult process, but oh so very worth it in the end.

Lesson 1: Acts Community Bible Study..."Patience"

2009-09-22T20:11:00.003-06:00

Well, here it is....entry number one of my 7 month and two week study on the Book of Acts! I am going to attempt to journal what I have learned in each of my bloggings...follow along if you like...by now reading Chapter 1 of "Acts"(Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and then Acts)

One interesting thing I didn't know is that the book of Acts contains the final mention in the bible of Mary, mother of Jesus.(Acts 1:14)

But mostly...the lesson of "waiting"...pointed out that as the people gathered in that upstairs room...still waiting for the holy spirit to come at this point....showed FIRST their prayers before Jesus would come along in the story to walk amongst his people again before ascending into heaven. So many times we ask the lord for things...but so many times, when we push ourselves to the point of desperation while waiting and THEN praying...well...as the lecturer put it tonight...don't we usually say.."well, I've done all I can do...now all I can do is pray." ??!! INSTEAD...PRAY FIRST!

I admit it....I waste so much time getting mad because something happened, and then thinking "god wasn't listening"....well...was I PRAYING FIRST?!! Most likely...I did have the patience to wait...as it says in Hebrews 11:1-"now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see."....and I'm real good at that...but what I'm not good at, admittedly...is praying about it FIRST...before I hope and before being sure...

With Patience, Humility and TOTAL DEPENDENCE(praying, then faith it will happen and staying certain it has happened in HIS TIME.)...I will grow better in christ!

One final point...If an Army is waiting for battle...and is waiting...don't they need to receive supplies and instructions FIRST?! If they went into battle with no "ammunition" in reserve, or backup forces to reinforce...or what areas to attack, or how to attack them....very likely there will not be victory....

Looking forward to sharing next week on CHAPTER 2!

"Trapped" Under Ice(forgiveness not given)

2009-09-13T15:39:00.002-06:00

I don't know how to live trough this hell
Woken up, I'm still locked in this shell
Frozen soul, frozen down to the core
Break the ice, I can't take anymore

Freezing
Can't move at all
Screaming
They can't hear my call
I am dying to live
I Cry out
"I'm trapped under ice!"

Crystallized, as I lay here and rest
Eyes of glass stare directly at death
From deep sleep I have broken away
No one knows, no one hears what I say

and now from 1 Sam 16:14-23....

14 Now the Spirit of the Lord had left Saul, and the Lord sent a tormenting spirit[a] that filled him with depression and fear.
15 Some of Saul’s servants said to him, “A tormenting spirit from God is troubling you. 16 Let us find a good musician to play the harp whenever the tormenting spirit troubles you. He will play soothing music, and you will soon be well again.”

17 “All right,” Saul said. “Find me someone who plays well, and bring him here.”

18 One of the servants said to Saul, “One of Jesse’s sons from Bethlehem is a talented harp player. Not only that—he is a brave warrior, a man of war, and has good judgment. He is also a fine-looking young man, and the Lord is with him.”

19 So Saul sent messengers to Jesse to say, “Send me your son David, the shepherd.” 20 Jesse responded by sending David to Saul, along with a young goat, a donkey loaded with bread, and a wineskin full of wine.

21 So David went to Saul and began serving him. Saul loved David very much, and David became his armor bearer.

22 Then Saul sent word to Jesse asking, “Please let David remain in my service, for I am very pleased with him.”

23 And whenever the tormenting spirit from God troubled Saul, David would play the harp. Then Saul would feel better, and the tormenting spirit would go away.

In the days following David's historic victory over Goliath...the women of the cities of Israel were outside dancing and singing to meet King Saul. They had musical instruments and they were very joyful because their enemies, the Philistines, had been beaten.

Well the day after the women sang their songs, the evil spirit came upon Saul again. And so, as in other times, David played the harp for King Saul to comfort him. As David beautifully played the harp, but this was different...Saul was INFURIATED how it seemed David's victory was so much more important to his people than any Saul had led them to, and there just happened to be a sharp javelin in King Saul's hand. A javelin that was typically used to kill people. (for anyone reading this who doesn't know, It is like a spear) As David played, King Saul said to himself, "I will smite David to the wall with it."...and therefore, impose his will...deadly as it would be...upon Saul.

So King Saul threw the javelin at David two times, but both times, David dodged out of the way. When it got to that point, Saul was afraid of David because the LORD was with David and had left Saul. Therefore Saul used what power he had left over David, had David removed from his site, and David was made captain over a thousand men in Saul's Army....with plans made to send David into battle and hope enemies would soon smite him.

Well, David continued to behave himself very wisely in all his ways and the Lord was with him. So when Saul saw this he was again afraid of David....He was Trapped by an overwhelming fear, and could not see it was himself...Saul...who needed to ask David for forgiveness upon coming forth with that rage in the javelin throw.

Oh, how Saul probably played that javelin throw in his mind now....over and over again....But luckily, as Saul stewed in his own rage...David was loved by Saul's son, Jonathan, who warned David of his father trying to kill him. So David fled into the wilderness, became the champion of the oppressed while evading the pursuit of Saul..and eventually the people the lord led to follow David rose up to march against Saul...and both Saul and Jonathan were eventually smitten down.

Can you imagine how much David was crying out for Saul and even Jonathan...to listen to him and accept who the Lord made him to be? As the lyrics banter in the first paragraph of this blog...David must have felt everytime he took a step towards trying to "see" what Saul was so bitter about...it was looking down the spiraling of the javelin hurtling towards him...as clear as through a sheet of ice and being frozen to do anything except try and leave that conflict. How pleasing it must have been to soothe Saul with that harp at first...but how dangerous it became, once the jealousy, bitterness and rage overcame Saul's love of David.

Becoming bitter about how one cannot change things in another person's life is what I have been about for a very long time...and it's time to simply cherish the memories I've had with my David(or Davids, actually) and those sweet, soothing sounds of a Harp he once played for me, and try not to become "Trapped under Ice." I need to tell David I am past being so frustrated for how I have seen him and that I want him to stop being so afraid of any more javelins being hurtled his way. I need David to see the sincerity of how much I have appreciated his attempts at soothing me, but the way I was using that soothing is wrong, and that I so desperately want a chance at restoration of friendships and a new start in serving God together and only helping David when he asks..and trusting and knowing God is with him, instead of looking through that ice...oh so clear...and just feeling so trapped...so helpless....to trust God now, and cry out...."I'M TRAPPED UNDER ICE!! PLEASE FORGIVE ME!"

9 steps to forgiveness

2009-09-09T23:11:00.003-06:00

Well, with the most recent topic ongoing at my church...thought I would take some time to share Dr. Fred Luskin's "9 steps to forgiveness"...a little commentary to follow.

1. Know exactly how you feel about what happened and be able to articulate what about the situation is not OK. Then, tell a trusted couple of people about your experience.

2. Make a commitment to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better. Forgiveness is for you and not for anyone else.

3. Forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation with the person that hurt you, or condoning of their action. What you are after is to find peace. Forgiveness can be defined as the "peace and understanding that come from blaming that which has hurt you less, taking the life experience less personally, and changing your grievance story."

4. Get the right perspective on what is happening. Recognize that your primary distress is coming from the hurt feelings, thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now, not what offended you or hurt you two minutes - or ten years -ago. Forgiveness helps to heal those hurt feelings.

5. At the moment you feel upset practice a simple stress management technique to soothe your body's flight or fight response.

6. Give up expecting things from other people, or your life , that they do not choose to give you. Recognize the "unenforceable rules" you have for your health or how you or other people must behave. Remind yourself that you can hope for health, love, peace and prosperity and work hard to get them.

7. Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you. Instead of mentally replaying your hurt seek out new ways to get what you want.

8. Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge. Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you. Forgiveness is about personal power.

9. Amend your grievance story to remind you of the heroic choice to forgive!

Now as far as #1 goes...I know what I must ask forgiveness for, but must make an effort to say what feelings I am overcoming and make sure I understand for sure what the person I've hurt has felt as well, so we can move on and stop focusing(#8) on "wounded feelings."

New beginnings come from forgiveness! A lesson I will always hold with me, thanks be to God!

no LIFE group....so needing to put my notes somewhere

2009-07-26T17:42:00.002-06:00

Well, It was a god-speaking, disheartening up-and-down kind of day this last Sunday in July of 2009. But as there was no weekly LIFE group to meet at my church and I have been away so long without sharing with ANYONE(just a part of life I am going to have to continue to try and deal with)...I figured I'd better go ahead and at least jot down a few things about Sunday's message of "The Cage of Failure."

Acts 16 explains where God wanted to lead Paul. As was explained on Sunday, there are just things God will do, directly or indirectly...to put us on the path we can best share the news and risk a dangerous life of telling others the Gospel. There are "Dead Ends" we run into and have to find another path...there are Detours WE DON'T SEE...and I agree with such a heavy heart how I do not sometimes like this. I do not like what God does to me when I can see his vision, but can't seem to offer up enough to let him control the paths I can take...and especially the time it might take to travel! I also wonder...what is it we see sometimes?...and more importantly...How in the world sometimes can we even understand what God is seeing? That second thought is the one I have an easier time with, because he is God, and I am not...so there really can't be a totally solid comprehension of it...only an "outline" God will provide through me sometimes.

Now to the thoughts I had on the second scripture reading....Acts 28:1-10....
I really think I have empathy right now for what Paul described with a "creature hanging from his hand."....with the exception that I think the viper has injected some kind of poison into me...and I am treating the bite as best I can through God. I am grateful that I am being encouraged to continue treating this wound of mine. And am grateful I am to the point where I can deal with any other potential snakes dancing around me, waiting to strike. And although I still can't deal with the one that has for now...seeped some venom in...I at least can continue to talk to God about it now, instead of keeping hate and vitriol inside...and fester this poison that has been put into me. There have been a couple different ways I have been dealing with getting back to total serenity over my issue with this snake that has bitten me...and I know perhaps it might be that particular road of risking and willing to look foolish in order to accomplish the serenity I seek...then again...I cannot go down that road without God....so I am going to have to continue and circle around the blocks and avenues on this particular growth in Christ issue, until God is ready for whatever he wants peace and understanding to be. I continue to promise God that IT WILL NOT BE ME that controls what path is the right one! I invite everyone who reads this now to pray..."God, choose my path...for I am willing to travel this way...I am ready to accept your love, and not the love I hope for here on Earth...but with you in heaven." "I just pray I can at least be put down the road that will vanquish this poison that has been left in me in whatever fashion your will takes me....and with a door open now on this cage of failure I have put myself in, I pray my faith in you and your will might free me, and allow me to better deal with my understanding of you and your great love." Amen.

First Damascus Way Bible Study "preach"

2009-06-23T20:26:00.002-06:00

Well, this week, I put forth my first ever "sermon" at my place of work, the Damascus Way! For those of you that don't know...I am a case worker for a christian based work-release program called "Damascus Way." Our mission is to nurture male felons coming out of Prison into work release with the word!
Acts 9:1-22 tells us that it was on the road to Damascus that the Apostle Paul met Jesus and as a result, had his life changed forever. The road symbolizes a time or place in life where a person comes to the end of themselves and give their lives to the father, son and holy spirit. "If the son sets you free, you are free indeed"-John 8:36.

Check out our website for more info...www.damascusway.com

Now...the transcript of my lesson...based on the Book of Hebrews...Chapter 11..."faith and perserverance of faith"

[1] Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
To me…faith is that Hoped for things will happen, and as a result of praying…the evidence of things to come in the future.
Now faith justifies only as it refers to, and depends on, Christ. But here is no mention of him as the object of faith; and in several of the instances that I’ll read in a moment, no notice is taken of him or his salvation, but only of temporal blessings obtained by faith. And yet they may all be considered as evidences of the power of justifying our faith in Christ, and being obedient to his commandments amidst difficulties and dangers of every kind.
Now faith is the subsistence of things hoped for, the evidence or conviction of things not seen — Things hoped for are not so extensive as things not seen. Things hoped for are the things future and joyful to us ; the evidence of conviction of things we haven’t yet seen are either future, past, or present, and those either good or evil, whether to us or others.
[2] For by it the elders obtained a good report.
The elders…those that came before us…our fathers and grandfathers…any of you able talk to your dad’s this father’s day week? Or have any of your children talked to you? In the old testament, God gave a testimony, not only of them but to them.
4-it was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did…I don’t know about you, but I suppose I’d like some cows for some steak rather than just some corn or whatever crop it was Cain offered God- anyway- As a result, Cain kills his brother out of jealousy….He didn’t have faith god loved him as much.

5- and it was faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying-“suddenly he disappeared because God took him. Even more puzzling…is that Enoch was approved as pleasing to god. The Lord had punished his father, Cain by condemning him to wander the earth, but when the curse of the Lord was lifted, Cain was allowed to build a city, which he also called Enoch, after his son. Another interesting part of it for you bible readers is that some consider Enoch to be one of the Two Witnesses in the Book of Revelation due to the fact that he did not die. 6- so, you see, it is impossible to please god without faith. How do we keep the faith?(hard pause) More thoughts on that in a moment. First…I’ll continue to read.
7 It was by faith that Noah built an Ark to save his family from the flood…one of the most infamous acts of faith in history. Anybody seen the movie “Evan:Almighty”? It is a modern day Noah’s ark story…very clever. That guy from the TV show “The Office” stars as Evan…
8 Abraham obeyed when god told him to leave home and go to another land that god would give him as an inheritance.
Verse 11 Abraham remained faithful, even after he and his wife Sara lost faith of having a child and allowed handmaiden Hagar to conceive a child with Abraham. Even though they were at one point too old and Sara was barren. I don’t know about anybody else…but I wouldn’t be comfortable being a dad at age 99 in this day and age! Of course, as all bible readers know…and it is again explained in verse 12…”a whole nation came from Abraham, who was too old to have any children- a nation with so many people that, like the stars of the sky and the sand on the seashore, there is no way to count them.
So this brings me to my Gospel this evening….Hebrews Chapter 11: verse 13…
[13] These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them afar off, and were persuaded of them, and embraced them, and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth.
Let me break that all down: every last one of the famous people in the bible I just mentioned, and many many more…went to their deathbeds NOT receiving promises given to them by god…So….YOU MEAN TO TELL ME…ALL THIS DOING RIGHT, STAYING DRUG AND ALCOHOL FREE, STAYING PURE FROM SINS LIKE LUST AND GREED AND COVETING AND ANY KIND OF EVIL…DOES ME NO GOOD?... while you think on that, let’s talk about the journey of faith….how would someone even begin to understand all that god wants of us?
Sometimes in recovery, like you guys are all here…like it or not…it just seems like forever before we begin to see changes we want in our lives….promises we believe god has given us that we just aren’t seeing him, or in some cases….us….move to reality. During these times, I say to each one of you…remind yourself that even the people of god most famous for their faith had to perservere…even KNOWING they wouldn’t live on this earth to see it happen. Faith means we can trust that god will come through for us in some fashion…even when the struggle seems to go on like it is forever in time.

Anybody know who Jon Bunyan was? He was an English Christian writer and preacher who lived around 350 years ago. He’s most famous for writing The Pilgrim's Progress, which is arguably the most published book besides the Bible. He was decried as "a witch, a Jesuit, a highwayman" and was said to have mistresses and multiple wives. In 1658, he was arrested for preaching without a license. He was confined at first for three months, but on his refusing to conform or to desist from preaching, his confinement was extended for a period of nearly 12 years. He was arrested again, and again after that..and after king charles the second sparked off what would turn out to be the very beginnings of those looking for freedom from religious persecution and less than 100 years later…the american revolution on this side of the pond, Bunyan had established over thirty new church congregations.

Reading out the rest of Hebrews 11….alot of trials…and tribulations…through one common thing many of you have heard in many messages in these bible studies is a hope for the ending of your faith on this earth. Again…I ask…how do we keep the faith? I think it boils down to believing what Jesus did for us…when he went to the cross….and believing in that one perfect heaven…we can get ready here on earth to receive the one promise that matters the most.

A soldier's story to model

2009-05-25T06:02:00.002-06:00

The battle erupted suddenly and without warning. One minute, Bravo Company of the 11th Engineer Battalion was trying to build a holding pen for war prisoners. The next, the unit was under fire from as many as 200 Special Republican Guard soldiers defending Saddam International Airport.

After helping evacuate wounded U.S. soldiers, Sgt. 1st Class Paul R. Smith jumped into an M-113 armored personnel carrier, maneuvered it into the center of a walled courtyard and climbed into the commander's hatch to man its .50-caliber machine gun. Under fire from automatic weapons and rocket-propelled grenades, his flak jacket shredded by incoming rounds, Smith held off a counterattack until he was killed by a bullet to the throat.

"If it had not been for him staying on that weapon, there's no doubt in anybody's mind our casualties would have been much, much higher," said Command Sgt. Maj. Gary Coker, the engineer battalion's senior noncommissioned officer. "And yet, he was the type of guy you'd expect . . . to have done that. I don't think there was a single person in our unit who was surprised that, of all people to do that, it was Sergeant Smith."

Officers and enlisted men remember Smith, a veteran of the 1991 Persian Gulf War, as a perfectionist and disciplinarian.

"He was one of hardest platoon sergeants in the battalion," Coker said. Yet he also acquired a reputation for protecting his soldiers and looking out for their interests.

In a notoriously unsafe occupation -- engineers are the ones who breach obstacles such as minefields and specialize in blowing things up -- "he would err on the safe side for his soldiers every time," said Capt. Michael Bliss, his company commander.

The 33-year-old left behind a wife, Birgit, whom he met while stationed in Germany, and two children. Besides fighting in the Gulf War, also as a combat engineer, he was deployed to Kosovo for six months in 2001.

As the brigade attacked the airport on April 4, 2003 Smith's Bravo Company was ordered to create a holding area for prisoners taken by a task force of the 2nd Battalion, 7th Infantry Regiment. On the northern side of an intersection just east of the airport, Smith used an armored bulldozer to knock a hole in the wall of a compound, overseen by a guard tower, that he intended to use to hold the prisoners.

An M-113 armored personnel carrier moved into the compound and knocked down a gate at the far side, only to come under heavy fire from Special Republican Guard forces. A mortar round landed on top of the M-113, wounding three of the four crew members. Seconds later, a rocket-propelled grenade hit the vehicle in the side. At the same time, Iraqis climbed into the guard tower and began firing down at the U.S. soldiers with rocket-propelled grenades and automatic weapons.

"They had occupied the tower that we planned to use to guard the EPW [enemy prisoner of war] cage," said 1st Sgt. Timothy Campbell, 35, of Bethel, Ohio, the senior noncommissioned officer of Bravo Company. "So now they had us in the cage, basically. The only place out was the hole we put in the wall and the gate where they were firing from."

Smith and Campbell rushed to help evacuate the wounded, one of whom had to be carried on a stretcher. Another M-113 was then hit by a grenade, and Campbell helped evacuate its four crew members. As he was doing so, Smith got a hand grenade from a Scout vehicle, ran up to the wall by the gate and threw the grenade over the wall to help cover the evacuation.

Then Smith jumped into the M-113 and started to back it across the courtyard to a more central position where he could fire at the guard tower.

The M-113's machine gun was damaged, but Smith told Campbell he could make it work. Campbell sent two soldiers to help him, one to drive the M-113 and the other to feed Smith ammunition. Smith told them to stay down while he fired at the tower, the gate and a place along a wall where the Iraqis were trying to climb over.

"They were trying to gain control [of the courtyard] to kill engineers, who were the biggest threat to them," Campbell said. If successful, "they would be unimpeded. They had the terrain. They had the proper size and type of weapons to defeat all the targets around there. . . . So they would have . . . created chaos, and they could have done quite a bit of damage."

As Smith provided covering fire, Campbell and three soldiers set some brush on fire to create a smoke screen and maneuvered around one side of the guard tower. When Campbell's team was about 20 yards from the tower, Smith paused to reload. Moments after he had resumed firing, his machine gun suddenly fell silent.

By then, however, Campbell and his team were in position to shoot the Iraqis in the guard tower. At almost the same instant that Smith stopped firing, Campbell's team opened up on the tower and killed the Iraqis inside. At the M-113, they found Smith mortally wounded. He was carried on a stretcher to the aid station but never regained consciousness.

Within minutes, the Iraqi counterattack, which had been directed from the guard tower, subsided, and the shooting tapered off.

Smith "put himself in harm's way and wouldn't let anybody help him," Campbell said. "Had he let that position be overrun, [the Iraqis] could have killed all of our medical support. They probably would have killed our command and control. And they would have killed anything that was not suspecting that someone could come up behind them."

Out of the 600-member task force, "it's hard to tell how many they would have killed," Campbell said.

"He saved everybody out there," said Pvt. Michael Seaman, 21, of St. Clair, Mich., the soldier who fed Smith ammunition as he fired more than 300 rounds from the machine gun.

According to Campbell, a tape recorder that had been accidentally left running in his Humvee -- he planned to record a message for his wife -- captured the intensity of the fight, including the whoosh of at least 21 rocket-propelled grenades.

"You hear an RPG every few seconds on that tape," he said. "They were firing at everything they could find."

During the fight, bullets or shrapnel shattered the ceramic breast plate of Smith's flak jacket and shredded its shoulder piece.

"Sgt. 1st Class Smith inspired Bravo Company . . . to fight ferociously to repel the enemy attack," says a citation submitted to support the Medal of Honor nomination. "Sgt. 1st Class Smith's heroic actions directly ensured Task Force 2-7 Infantry's rear flank was not engaged."

It said the Bulldogs, as the Bravo Company engineers are known, killed or wounded as many as 50 Iraqis in the battle. On the U.S. side, Smith was the only one killed, and three soldiers were wounded.

May God bless the families of all soldiers and enlisted military personel in this country...with us on this earth or now in heaven!
http://www.army.mil/medalofhonor/smith/profile/index.html

http://www.navy.mil/moh/mpmurphy/

http://www.merlinsmiracles.com/

http://www.armytimes.com/news/2008/07/military_suicidedwyer_070308w/

http://www.militarycity.com/valor/2552631.html

http://www.arlingtoncemetery.net/john-mele.htm

pain trigger and more proverbs gems speaking to me this moment

2009-05-09T12:09:00.002-06:00

17:9 Disregarding another person's faults preserves love; telling about them seperates close friends.

TOO HARD TO DEAL WITH....FALSE PEACEMAKING!

17:14 Beginning a quarrel is like opening a flood-gate, so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.

TRYING TO KEEP IT IN MY HEART....BUT IT IS LIKE A BULLDOZER STEAMING TOWARDS ME, AND I'M STUCK IN THE CONCRETE AND UNABLE TO MOVE!

and

17:28 Even fools are thought to be wise when they keep silent; when they keep their mouth shut, they seem intelligent.

OH, LORD....HAVE MERCY....PLEASE!

But most of all...I am wondering...

17:17 "A friend is always loyal, and a brother is born to help in time of need"

my bible captions this with "A true friend will stick beside us during the hard times. Building such relationships will help us in our spiritual growth. We all need to be able to express our needs and concerns to someone who will care and encourage us in our path toward change."

It is just so devestating to me....and I have to do something to bury what is dead...I haven't reached the step I wanted to at Autumn Ridge church...it has been so FRUSTRATING not to be able to yet....and now I am faced with something, and am praying so hard for god to help me...for my spiritual advisors to help me.

tooooo many proverbs of solomon to read!

2009-05-06T17:17:00.002-06:00

One could breakdown and analyze all these quips from Solomon in chapters 11-29...so I am through 14...let me breakdown two in 12/13 for now...

verse 15 is repeated in 15:22 and 19:20, basically...I like the way 15:22 is put...because I can find myself in such a quandry over conflicting advice...In so many instances...I seek more and more people the more different the advice is to see if I can at least get SOME kind of similarity. Ultimately, though...the final decision on what advice to take or not is my own...and sometimes, it is just too difficult to follow through on the toughest decisions one makes...so just prayer will have to suffice until courage is born.

verse 12 of Chapter 13 says "Hope Deferred makes the heart sick, but when dreams come true, there is life and joy." Now THAT really speaks to me currently!

Core belief bible verse jumped out in Proverbs 10!

2009-05-05T20:40:00.002-06:00

I admit, when I get the opportunity to soak in the holy book...I do not often hit verses that TOTALLY speak to me in my faith walk. Proverbs 10:25 is one of those "gems" in my core beliefs of god/Jesus.
"When the storm-wind is past, the sinner is seen no longer, but the upright man is safe for ever." Or in many versions "the just, or the righteous is an everlasting foundation."
When we are hit with the trials of the tempter vs our holy spirits, how strong can we be? I had what I felt was a very profound question answered at my LIFE group tonight...."How can we, as christians...best deal with the differences in how each person of faith sees what is Brutal and Obnoxious?"
I think Proverbs 10:25 hits it dead on...along with how I belief these "storms" shape us in our faith walk...I believe coming at it with the best love we can...that is...love that is so unconditional, no one can misinterpret...at least in the long-term scope of things..."the just, or the righteous" will build an everlasting foundation in our faith in our fellowship...and in christ. Problem is...one may want to "control" how that love gets translated...and that is where things become too dangerous. It is with holding in the firm belief that short-term differences will yield long-term acceptance of forgiveness offered that the best christian will be enabled to seek out repentance...but what about those levels the ones on the receiving end are seeing what is "Brutal and Obnoxious?" I think one would agree that a punch from Mike Tyson to Buster Douglas vs a punch from Mike Tyson to "Mini-Me" from the "Austin Powers" movie fame is a pretty big difference....The question is...how can we bring "mini-me" up to speed on accepting what power that punch was meant as our unconditional love?...Because this may be utterly destructful if we cannot "control" it...leading to Proverbs 10:"Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Discernment

So what are YOU discerning in others? Can you do it wisely, and at a level that can best serve those you are serving? Too hard for me in some of my "battles" of love, I must admit! But I'm on the road to recovery...step by step...day by day...trusting God along the way! :)

Proverbs 8 & 9....the "choice" of an old generation

2009-05-05T06:23:00.002-06:00

How does one choose something that has been there before anything else? In chapter 8...Solomon explains how wisdom was there even BEFORE the beginning(verse 22)
That emparted to me the question..."Why is our acceptance to "choose wisely" more difficult than "primal" instinct, then?" My Answer: Because it is the MOST primal...even BEFORE mankind(Adam) was created by God...and thus, man ALONE CANNOT choose it WITHOUT choosing God FIRST! :) Something obviously, Adam and Eve failed to do for us...
In chapter 9...Solomon paints the picture of how that choosing of wisdom will be benificial.(verses2 through 6) Then he talks about mockers...
And John Milne's response to this?...Yes...begin to live...stop mocking...
However...
John Milne will ALWAYS wonder, though...and pray....yes...pray...show me the right path, Lord...I still believe in it's truth...I can "taste and see" it....If I can only grasp it firmly, and make it tangible...believe....believe...

I am going to wait and recap chapter 10 until after tonight's LIFE group...because that chapter initself is a BOOK...

A Proverbs 7 lesson learned

2009-05-02T12:19:00.002-06:00

Ya know....It was nice to have been so naive in my 20's...because the lesson Solomon emparts through his words in Proverbs 7 would be a good one for me if I had realized how an "immoral woman" was trying to do to me one night in the 90's.

Her name was Denice(spelled that way...but "Denise")...so, of course...call her "Deh-Neye-s"!(you are nice!)...She was a nurse at St. Mary's Hospital that my best friend at the time's wife worked with and hooked me up with on a blind date. We went to see "Rocketman" with Harland Williams...and I held her hand. Living in Preston at the time...we talked on the phone...and one day/date...I got a phone call from her asking If I wanted to come over and watch "ER" with her(a very big Television program at that time, to be sure)...so we went and did a little grocery shopping as well...got to her apartment...and started watching. Looking back on it...I should have really noticed how different she was probably acting...I mean...we weren't "cuddling" or anything....but she was making some pretty good efforts to look at me when "pivotal scenes" broke out during the show...and during commercials...would have this smile....
Anyways....the show ended...she shut off the TV...and offered to give me a look about the apartment. As we got into her bedroom, I remember some picture she had on the wall, and her grabbing my hand and looking towards the bed...then she put her head by my shoulder and smiled...and I remember going back out to the living room. I would say a good 10 minutes had passed with the conversation and "looking at the apartment" and walking and such. She turned me towards her and holding onto both of my hands so that our hands were in front of each other...said the words that TOTALLY took me off guard. "John, you're a NICE GUY(I always hate it when women include that...it just drives the knife deeper, IMO)...but I hope you understand I am not looking for a relationship right now...just a friend." I have analyzed and analyzed that night in my head over and over again...and can only come to the conclusion that since A. We had been holding hands that she obviously wanted to figure something out B. Wanted to go out on the "blind date" with me in the first place to meet someone BEFORE any of the hand holding and C. Everything I can dig out of my memory about walking through her bedroom and her actions screams "one night stand" to me...
That she WAS seducing me...that I WAS just being set up as an "Ox going to the slaughter"...
Well, I cried and cried that night about it...and am still amazed to this day that I followed through with the "final date" I had planned with her and her husband/wife friends to a rodeo I had gotten tickets for at the radio station...(and boy, what a butthole I must have seemed like at THAT date!)...But you know what? It was God's way of imparting the lessons and warnings of Proverbs 7 without me even knowing it at the time....and I will never thank God enough for it!

Proverbs 6....gee...this all looks pretty familiar!

2009-05-01T15:42:00.003-06:00

In many ways, I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I signed on to be a case worker at Damascus Way.
Proverbs 6 gives Solomon's perspectives on those who are just plain lazy, and proud for no good reason, and gossipy and alllllll sorts of things that just are not productive to becoming one that unconditionally loves and contributes to god's kingdom. As I have discovered, my gift of empathy can turn against me time and time again to those that want to continue their selfish ways, and take away my ability to present ways to peace and prosperity among my brothers/sisters in christ. The six things the lord hates(no, seven things he DETESTS!) in verses 16-19 are when our "eyes are bigger than our stomach" so to speak, lying, hands that do bad things(kill the innocent), evil hearts that plot, racing to do wrong, sowing discord among others by presenting falsehoods and lies, and finally...false witnessing(and oh, boy...that one can be SOOOO difficult sometimes to avoid, IMO)
So the advise is to seek "wise counsel"....which I certainly hope I have been able to have been for the men that are in this program. Only problem is...who is really wanting to seek it...and who is just "playing" me and the others on the staff at Damascus Way?
Verses 30-31 explain the "excuses" and consequences for those that break laws in lands everywhere on this earth...and there have certainly been some insane-looking sentences on some of these clients of mine. But one thing stands true in my mind for each and every one of them. If they accept the fact...and I mean TRULY hold Christ in their hearts...nothing can stop them from doing good deeds for his kingdom. I have witnessed it....I believe in it...and I must do everything in my power to continue believing it is possible for each and every one of these guys I take under my wing...no matter how bad things look.
Up next....more thoughts on the Succubus....er....Immoral woman in Chapter 7!

Proverbs 5...Sex and Evil

2009-04-30T06:24:00.002-06:00

I will start this look at a very profound chapter of proverbs from a single guy's perspective...Proverbs 5...by saying that in my own experiences...I have never gone through with giving in to the temptations of a "seductress". To put it in perspective....here is wikipedia's take on "adultery"...It is the voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and another person who is not his or her spouse, though in many places it is only considered adultery when a married woman has sexual relations with someone who is not her husband and in others it is only considered adultery when a married woman has sexual relations with someone without the permission of her husband. In most cases, in Western countries(such as the USA), only the married party is said to have committed adultery, and if both parties are married (but not to each other) then they both commit separate acts of adultery. In other countries, both parties to the adultery are considered guilty, while in others again only the woman is able to commit adultery and to be considered guilty.

So, as you can see...there is a broad spectrum when it comes to married people alone...but what about people who are single? In many cases "cohabitation" is also going against the moral teachings of christianity. In 2005, the U.S. Census Bureau reported 4.85 million cohabiting couples, up more than 1,000 percent from 1960, when there were 439,000 such couples. A 2000 study found that more than half of newlyweds have lived together, at least briefly, before walking down the aisle. In one study, Jay Teachman, a researcher at Western Washington University, studied premarital cohabitation of women who are in a monogamous relationship. Teachman’s study showed "women who are committed to one relationship, who have both premarital sex and cohabit only with the man they eventually marry, have no higher incidence of divorce than women who abstain from premarital sex and cohabitation. For women in this category, premarital sex and cohabitation with their eventual husband are just two more steps in developing a committed, long-term relationship." Teachman's findings report instead that "It is only women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship who have an elevated risk of marital disruption. This effect is strongest for women who have multiple premarital coresidental unions."

Apparantly, some people have claimed that those who live together before marriage can report having less satisfying marriages and have a higher chance of separating. A possible explanation for this trend could be that people who cohabit prior to marriage did so because of apprehension towards commitment, and when, following marriage, marital problems arose (or, for that matter, before marriage, when relationship problems arose during the cohabitation arrangement), this apprehension was more likely to translate into an eventual separation.

Without going into many personal details, when it comes to christianity and cohabitation...I was saved!...and I will leave this analysis of verses 21 through 23...As a single man, I see plenty of temptation put before me...how I keep on the chastity belt time and time again is beyond my power...it is with god, and with god only that I choose a path that is righteous. I couldn't even begin to count how many times a day I am tempted by some crazy blurb on television with a sexual innuendo, or seeing a beautiful woman at the mall, walking down the sidewalk, or what/where ever...But it is the belief in the sanctity of marriage and how awesome it will be as described in verses 18 through 20 that keeps me going down the right path. It is one victory I hope I will be able to celebrate if and when I am blessed by the lord to find my partner and helper for the rest of my earthly life!(of course....you all are NOT invited to witness anything beyond a reception and such...LOL)

proverbs 4....the "nurture" argument on wisdom

2009-04-29T19:07:00.002-06:00

So the question in Proverbs Chapter 4....it seems to me....is how does spending time with people with good moral ethics....or as the bible caption I am reading states "hanging with godly people"...enhance our wisdom when it comes to making wise decisions in life that do not lead to our self-destruction?

I'd have to say the verse that speaks most to me in this chapter is verse 23..."Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do."

You see...I did not do that, and it was misinterpreted, and I lost what I considered a very valuable relationship with someone. I did, in fact, consider the fact that if I opened my heart in a very personal way by stating I knew what I was risking when I brought out my heart...that things could go very, very wrong for the relationship. My worst fears were recognized, however...and I shall continue to consider, to pray and to wait upon the lord for salvation in the matter. Indeed, it has affected me to the core of my heart...but the light at the end of the tunnel is growing ever brighter recently...I died to my "old way" and god has chosen yet another path for my life that I will embrace with thanksgiving!

I will now take a very deep breath as I start to investigate perhaps the most touchy chapter of proverbs a single guy can tackle...and even I look forward to seeing what I can pray out of my heart on the subject of "Immoral Women!"

proverbs 3

2009-04-28T21:17:00.002-06:00

I am so exhausted...my mom has been in the hospital...and I had such anger towards god this morning....it frightened me! With alot of prayer, and some nice "talk" privately with mom this afternoon, however....I have had the burden lifted off of my shoulders...and certainly thanks to the power of prayer that somehow....I don't quite know how....I could "feel" that prayer...You know...Pastor Rich challenged a thought someone came up with at our LIFE group that it is so much easier to obey wisdom by having people in our life who are tangible. God, in a sense....is NOT tangible through the eyes(but I guess those are called "miracles")...some say they can hear god speak audibaly(which, by the way...is an awesome sound in "Raiders of the Lost Ark"!)...I guess you could say you can smell god through his creations like flowers, perfumes(which he gave "creative thought" as a gift to those that make them)and such..."O TASTE and see that the Lord is good"...food is a wonderful gift he makes...interestingly...used in a bible verse I used with clients that went to a church that studied a verse in 1 Corinthians this week(chapter 6, verse 13...which is actually about SEXUAL immorality...but anyways "food is for the stomach and the stomach is for food)...but anyways...the fact that he cannot be another person that you can physically see...and the fact that with "Oprah" and "Dr. Phil", one can easier guess what the message is than they can by opening up the holiest of holy books and taking the time to read it lends creedence to the thought I had, which was "Yes...God is our father, and he takes great pleasure in creating us to struggle and seeing how we are gonna deal with being sinful and struggling ourselves into following the right path, and laying all our burdens at his feet, and just finding ways to please him...love with each other, pleasures, and song!
Well, let me throw this at you....THE POWER OF PRAYER IS TANGIBLE....I didn't believe it for many, many hours over these past couple of days...and for that, I am ashamed. But BY praying....I have re-gained that confidence....and my faith is even stronger for it....and I'm gonna go cry after I put out this other thought about Proverbs 3....
3:21-26..."My Child, don't lose sight of good planning and insight. Hang on to them, for they fill you with life and bring you honor and respect.(which, to be honest...I believe IS tangible in good times, but non-existant in bad) They keep you safe(trusting in your spiritual guides, methinks)on your way and keep your feet from stumbling. You can lie down without fear(the discussion about how as kids, we went to bed upset when our parents wouldn't let us cry to them until they were ready to let us)....
I'd finish the thought....but it's time for bed

Proverbs 2

2009-04-27T06:52:00.002-06:00

I'd say not a lot NEW learned in proverbs 2 today....but I will say this from personal testimony... Showing god I can move on after "suffering consequences" of unwise decisions has been a blessing, and while I still am working on making peace...and not being a false peacemaker...I do know what must be done by his will for me, and staying away from "the road to hell", as it says in verse 18...

here we go...Proverbs 1 thought notes

2009-04-26T16:09:00.002-06:00

Okay....an assignment at church was handed out, and I shall also follow along to whomever is also "taking notes"....hope you take an opportunity over the next month or so to do the same...I know I am excited to see what I learn!

Proverbs 1:
1:7- Yeah...being afraid of what I had perceived, and to be honest...sometimes do STILL perceive as "correction" from a standpoint where God/Jesus reigns over me as my king had/has its' benifits....grateful for the most part keeping away from despising...or to my maximum to a degree of simply getting impatient with wisdoms and disciplines...time will tell if I choose to "rebel" against daddy on anything again! :)

1:20-33...interesting....SHE cries out in the public square and was nagging, then? :)...to be serious, though...It is the toughest thing about loving others that also love you....everyone has guidance in a different way....and being empowered to choose the lord's way through such guidance can get confusing and very messy if you go down the wrong paths....verse 32...talking about complacency...that WAS me...but as part of my "rebirth" in christ...that will end! Only question I have always had about wisdom from God....how exactly is he saying it, and when? Better get praying so it's tangible, I guess! :)

DEATH OF OLD AND RESURRECTION OF NEW THIS EASTER WEEKEND!

2009-04-10T07:17:00.002-06:00

In the past several weeks...I have come to know a brutal and honest truth about myself. I know from my walk with christ that part of growing into an emotionally mature Christian is learning how to apply practically and effectively the truths we believe. It is one of those truths that has hit home to me recently through my church and a particular conflict that we ARE to be peacemakers...But most of the time it seems to me that the truth is that most end up being false peacemakers. A false peacemaker is simply someone who ignores conflict and seeks to appease people. I must confess that I have lived most of my life being a false peacemaker, and have allowed many to skate or run over me out of a fear of conflict and hurting the other person. I have spent most of my life appeasing people instead of actually dealing with conflict. It is my desire this holy weekend to begin implementing skills that I have been studying through Peter Scazerro's wonderful publication, "Emotionally Healthy Spirituality". Scazzero states: "True peacemakers love God, others, and themselves enough to disrupt false peace. Jesus models this for us" I certainly was reminded of this through one of my favorite stories of Jesus...as he struts into the temple to "disrupt"...tossing over tables and to better paraphrase..."kicks ass!"
Scazzero goes on to give some skills that we can learn to be true peacemakers. They are: (1) Speaking and listening - Taking the time to actually listen to what the other person is saying and also being able to speak about your own thoughts and feelings(I had a friend who shared this struggle just the other day)
(2) Checking out assumptions - Scazzero says that "every time I make an assumption about someone who has hurt or disappointed me without confirming it, I believe a lie about this person in my head". This one has been the most difficult for me surrounding the circumstances that have been presented. How many times do we assume things that are not true? I would say MOST if not ALL of the time. We need to talk about our assumptions with the other person.-and I plan to reach that 8th "step" in my recovery process at some point where I am emotionally and spiritually strong enough again to do so.
(3) Expectations - Unmet and unclear expectations create havoc in our places of employment, friendships, marriages, families and churches. We expect other people to know what we want before we say it. But as Scazzero points out "expectations are only valid when they have been mutually agreed upon"
(4) Allergies and triggers - Here Scazzero talks about emotional allergies and triggers. He says that an emotional allergy is "an intense reaction to something in the present that reminds us, consciously or unconciously, of an event from our history". I know that I have been having MANY of these and I will have to spend some time thinking though what they each have meant, and how when I get to those moments of having a "reaction"...what I am going to do. Scazzero gives a good exercise to do that, and I hope to share that soon through study.

Scazzero ends this chapter by saying "One of the greatest gifts we can give our world is to be a community of emotionally healthy adults who love well. This will take the power of God and a commitment to learn, grow, and break with unhealthy, destructive patterns that go back generations in our families and cultures . . ."
I am seeing the beginnings of this gift in my life and in my relationships and I look forward to continuing to grow into an emotionally healthy adult!...and I bid you all a very happy Easter!

God is SO amazing!

2009-04-03T20:12:00.003-06:00

Nearly had myself in a spiritual breakdown tonight...but in such an awesome way! I heard the testimony that has moved me the most since a very good present friend of mine(who is getting married in May, by the way!) gave such a stirring story a few years back.(hard to believe..time passes by SO quickly!)

A guy on my caseload came to our weekly sit-down SO HAPPY today...I could see the spirit in him rise up...it was SO AMAZING! It took all I could to hold myself together and not get up and walk into the other room and cry for joy....and the joyful prayer was just spinning so much...I know that if I let my heart completely out, that I would just lose it! You see...the mother of his children has made a huge step in their relationship...and in her life....she, and their daughter...will be at church on Sunday....for the first time together at a church...he spent years in Prison...and missed the first 18 months of his daughters life from his most recent incarceration...and when he shared the story of seeing his daughter for the first time in person...My god...I can't even continue writing this...I have to go off and cry now....GOD, YOU ARE SO GOOD...WE WORSHIP YOU AND PRAISE YOU...

Another one to consider...concept of a christian vs "what would Jesus do?"

2009-03-25T20:07:00.002-06:00

Today I was just contemplating an issue of false peacemaking that is going on in my life.(and I am working on "recovering" from it) I'll explain a bit to give you an idea.

Jesus' Beatitudes are the basis of an important principle he put forth for us to follow the spirit's will for our lives...in Matthew 5:9...It is said God blesses those who work for peace...and in my opinion, this does NOT mean we pacify and appease as christians to ensure no one gets upset...but rather we do like Jesus did...He disrupted all the false peace around him(see Matthew 10:34-36)...All the while, Jesus kept present by clearly meeting everyone he encountered through being the best speaker and listener who has ever walked this earth! In my opinion...we must do the same as his followers...We must RISK...We must stop ignoring the difficult issues and settling for this "false peace", hoping things will just go away...

While I don't yet have the strength to CORRECTLY overcome this through my depression, time IS making things a little better, at least..and I am looking forward to the day I can reach my 8th step in my "recovery."

Just my perspective as I continue to deal with very personal issues of relationship!

??

2009-01-31T08:36:00.002-06:00

Does ANYBODY know how much I love and respect them? It is like being trapped inside a glass cube...seeing everyone and watching them looking the other way...and when that glass dissappears and I feel I can cross and communicate...some kind of fear or repulsion grips that person or group. I don't understand....I'm NOT the in-your-face type at ALL. I got an interesting result from a recent "test" on spiritual gifts I took from something my pastor found. Here's an excerpt. "As a mercy-shower you have the Spirit-given capacity and desire to serve God by identifying with and comforting those who are in distress. You understand and comfort your fellow Christian. You enter into the grief or happiness of others and have the ability to show empathy which is to feel WITH others, not just for others. As a mercy-shower you are willing to deal with and minister to people who have needs that most people feel very uncomfortable working with. You seem to say the right thing at the right time. Your personality is likely one of soft-spoken love. It hurts you to scold someone; you are very non-condemning. PEOPLE LOVE YOU BECAUSE OF ALL THE LOVE YOU GIVE THEM."
So you tell me.....

thinking about god's word

2009-01-12T12:13:00.002-06:00

"Though I speak with the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become as sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, but have not love, it profits me nothing." (1 Corinthians 13:1)

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

2009....possibly a year without a blog

2009-01-07T16:19:00.002-06:00

I have learned a great many things in 2008....where I stand as a Christian, through adult baptism and a new job serving work release men in a christian halfway house...and how my expressive passion is shutting the world off to me. It really seems it must be too much for everyone to bear, because I so rarely get a phone call anymore from those I consider good friends. I must be smothering people with emotion, and they simply cannot take that much "input" without crashing from me. I am very happy to announce I have an appointment with a christian psychologist on the 19th, and I will share a few lessons I learn through him here....but I am no longer going to emit and smother those I want to care about. Those who truly care will continue to gravitate towards me, and I shall find out what is true, afraid as I might be in discovering it. Tommorrow, I have absolutely no plans...will someone call me?....hard to say...but I look forward to getting back to my job on Friday...and I hope you have a great 2009, with or without me!

"Cleaning House"

2008-11-13T00:08:00.002-06:00

Well, it was very nice to have the day off, I must say...first of all. Second thing to mention on this November 12 day is the fact that once again, so much was learned and respected and prayed about. God continues to show the way through the heart of fellowship and understanding and while what I am about to write hasn't come easy for me to admit...I must get it out there, so that I can seek the lord more clearly without hiding from what I have been battling. The strange thing is, I honestly don't know how long I have truly been battling it, but I do know tonight....this week....well...recently...I have come to realize I do need to ask for help. Depressive disorders affect approximately 18.8 million American adults or about 9.5% of the U.S. population age 18 and older in a given year...and those are just the DIAGNOSED individuals. I don't know what particular timeframe of years are included in those figures, but what is more disturbing is the fact that most patients with depression have never been diagnosed, let alone treated. I took a self-diagnosis test on Web MD and didn't even get past the second question before I was told to "see a doctor"! LOL...I don't particularly put alot of merit into that simple instance, but there were alot of clues mentioned that I had to say "Yes" to...including: no longer interested in activities that you once enjoyed...a lack of focus(which has been so strange to me, because I KNOW I have a history, yet lately...it has been SO unmanagable)...Trouble making decisions(which I've had to say has been the most managable of these first three I have mentioned..yet I have noticed myself with friends and not stepping up to the plate for them and such)and the one that has been bothering me the most because I love them all so much...not enjoying BEING with my friends or doing any of the things I usually love to do.(which I guess goes in step mostly with the no longer interested in activities usually enjoyed)...the crazy part about that is the TERRIBLE LONELINESS I have needlessly felt so much! It all feels kinda stupid, but I guess that is the way it is, and now I am just gonna have to deal with it! I have truly fallen on my knees to the lord about it...I'll just ask for your prayers and support. I don't know what else to write...what else to say...just thank you, god...for creating me for a purpose to serve you...lord...please heal this loneliness....please give me strength...allow me to be strong through this, lord....god...I have tried so hard to be your servant....help me to cope...help me to heal...help me to deal...you are awesome, lord....

I don't know...what a crazy Thursday!

2008-10-30T21:37:00.002-06:00

Simply amazing and incredible this Thursday, October 30th has been. So many ups...yet some downs in the lives of people I care about and myself. It all started this morning, when I had the honor and privledge of helping out a person near and dear to my heart accomplish something that is going to give her alot more freedom!(albeit a little more expense...but the freedom will be SO worth it...and I am moved to tears on so many levels about it) I found out a short time later another good friend would have to "study up" a bit more to accomplish some goals of his own, and with the ways he has helped me, I am praying god will continue to bless him. I also treated myself on a good credit I have had going for awhile, and purchased a camcorder, which I will be using to document things I wish to share with all of my friends on facebook. Some will hopefully turn into audio/visual blogs, while others will be fun things...I can't wait! I'd have to say this day did end on some very sad notes...Perspective on what is important really hit home when I made a phone call to get help from a friend when I found out my car wouldn't start(and I'll likely need something taken care of)...and found out that friend had lost his job. I truly pray god will give strength and courage...and I very much thank another great friend, whom I hope I will still get the chance to get together with this weekend...for really adding some great words to my last blog. What blessings! God, I pray you continue to bless all these great people I know...let us be strong in each other with christ!

Patience revisited...

2008-10-26T22:48:00.002-06:00

Greetings on an EARLY Monday morning...I have been battling depression this weekend, and needed to write a few things down to inspire not only myself...but I'm hoping anyone who reads this blog. I went back and read most of the blogs I had done since December of '06...and in two instances I mentioned the loneliness I was feeling. It really didn't hit me so hard until recent events, though...and I find it very difficult to find strength these days for some odd reason. Once Again(wrote this September '07)I have known for a long, long time that I am made by God to listen...and to pray...for REAL people and their very real problems/walks. But I am coming to realize more how much I need to draw up a god made plan, and then take CHARGE of my life by SPEAKING and letting others feel the power christ has given me in my life! I don't know...In July I wrote that my hope was that as many as possible will continue to battle it out as long as it takes for them to fight off the enemy and will be coming to church for the long haul...no matter what the cost to personal comfort, relationships and lifestyles...because there is hope in our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. As my pastor pointed out this past Sunday with the help of a couple guys from the prison work release house I work at, it is gonna take reaching out to the "unwanted" of this world to truly heal and do the lord's work. Yes, I wrote in mid-August I felt I was going nowhere, and as I re-listen to the song "Burn It Down" by Alter Bridge, which I also posted in a blog...I will once again wait for this "dusk to reach it's dawn."...I will draw on words of inspiration emphasized from slightly different ones uttered by a great church friend, who I thanked on the phone Sunday night for those images of how I can put my best foot(and godly life) forward from here..."Remember to find a new way...to carry on."

Recovery

2008-10-22T09:09:00.002-06:00

Relationships can certainly difficult sometimes. Especially with those you care alot about. I feel very fortunate to have the life I have, and the relationships I have...But I know I have this desire to be a better person for others, and even though I want to test those waters so badly...there have been times that I cannot do that very well without the acceptance of my effort. Anyone who is reading this, I want you to pray for strength, wisdom, courage and above all, honesty...for anyone and everyone in this world...so that we can all be as close as possible to being in that loving fellowship god meant for us when he created Adam and Eve. Every day will be another great opportunity...our time on this earth is so short. Thank you, lord...for all you have provided.

Getting back into an angry place vs God's Love

2008-10-03T06:26:00.002-06:00

I have run a gamut of emotions within the past week or so, and last night was a test to the ultimate for me. I'm not going to go into too many details, just for the fact that they are so personal to me and those involved...but I will explain a few things I have learned. If you have read this blog, I'll first of all thank you for keeping up with my life and being a friend!...and you have probably caught one particular past blog regarding my battles to remain patient for employment. http://janechildonehitwonder.blogspot.com/2008_07_01_archive.html

I promised myself that I would complete my "getting back to life after Iowa" plan by the following path...1st Getting back to my church, 2nd Getting out of a job that BOTH grips my time and is not what I felt God had planned for me anymore 3rd Getting a job that does fulfill a godly purpose AND that will sustain me...and last night, I thought I might be working towards that 4th goal...a goal as mentioned in that particular blog as putting myself on the line PERSONALLY for god's awesome glory. Well, god decided something different, and I cannot believe the range of emotions I have been through in the past 12 or so hours because of it. Anger(at god AND others), Embarrassment at putting myself on the line personally and crashing(which to be honest, was pretty minimal in the whole picture), Frustration(that I have been so patient, yet will be "denied access"), despair(at something so painful for so long that has existed that will not yet be resolved), hope(that there is a great possibility a communication line will stay open...thank GOD!), and of course, the toughest one for me...being heartbroken at results of my effort. I will ask for your prayers in one I am attempting to build after this crash...and that is resolve...because God's love is so worth trying to build a relationship with others in his name...and if more of his children could only understand this, rather than be wrapped up in so many other things than his love...It would be unreal how peaceful and understanding through the heart of Jesus this sinful world could become.

I would also like to ask for prayers at what I am despairing over, because in the long run...this one is going to eat at me if I cannot get through it. I am amazed at how this 4th goal attempt has turned out in so many ways, and I continue to examine personal feelings of what God has put forth, so please pray for strength for me as well.

In-Credible!

2008-09-10T05:36:00.002-06:00

What is god doing in my life? IN-CREDIBLE things! The waves of emotion continue to surprise me this week, and if you read my facebook status updates...there is a good chance you will get a good taste of what I'm talking about. I am just so looking forward to what each day is gonna bring...and happy I have a day off, yet a day FULL of excitement! Well, it is off to breakfast with an awesome friend...I'll add more thoughts later!

Dreams...part two

2008-08-16T10:04:00.002-06:00

It has been a very long time that I remember having a dream...
Well, I finally had another one last night! But before I begin to break it down for you a little...I feel I must praise god for giving me a dream. It HAS been frustrating not being able to either dream...or remember having a dream. Wikipedia defines a dream as "images, thoughts and feelings experienced while sleeping, particularly strongly associated with rapid eye movement sleep. The contents and biological purposes of dreams are not fully understood, though they have been a topic of speculation and interest throughout recorded history." I personally think this may mean I am reaching a point that I actually might have an IMPORTANT desire to reach a goal for the first time in god knows how long. "Soul Cravings" by Erwin McManus has been a beacon of light in what has been an otherwise darkened existence since I decided to part ways with someone I had a 7 year relationship with. Don't get me wrong...I'm very glad I moved away from that self-described "poison relationship" and things are good now with that. The thing is, I crave connection so much right now, and even though that is very appeasable with my current situation back in Rochester again and surrounded by people who care about me....This passion for trying to make the world a better place for others is apparantly frustrating me again to the point that I believe things in my own life are not moving ahead quickly enough...that this self sacrifice, while rewarding...has become so frustrating. I shared with a very good friend a few months ago how shocked I was at myself for being so jealous and envious of a new couple I know. Another good friend very recently shared that God will have a plan, and with that encouragement, I truly believe this dream I had gives me hope that there will be a point coming that I will know why and how and what it is exactly that I can’t understand about where I am going in life. I also recently shared at LIFE group that I had slowed down greatly in my prayers recently, and that it felt like I was piloting an airplane in circles at forty thousand feet with a threat of the engines shutting down. How grateful I am that I've got some great co-pilots/engineers/flight attendants/air traffic controllers in my life right now! Life Rocks!(and so does this job...though low-paying and the fact I am stuck for an 8 hour Saturday...I have had no phone calls or visitors for over 3 hours since I opened the office! Freaky!)

Burn It Down

2008-08-13T21:03:00.002-06:00

"burn it down
Discover the dusk of your day
Has reached its dawn
So burn it down
Remember to find a new to carry on"

"Hard to tell my nights now from my days
The curtains hide my feelings
Don't feel I have any right to pray
And they will find me someday, Someday"

"So burn it down
Discover the dusk of your day
Has reached its dawn
So burn it down
Remember to find a new to carry on
So burn it down
Discover the dusk of your day
Has reached its dawn
So burn it down
Remember to find a new to carry on"

Alter Bridge-"Burn It Down" from their 2004 debut album "One Day Remains"

Things Are Moving On!

2008-08-07T11:56:00.002-06:00

Well, happy to say that things are once again progressing in life! Been on the Marketing Real Estate Job for only a short time, and have already heard of another possibility that could bring in a $2 per hour raise in salary and for the most part...would keep working hours much the same as they are now!(normal 9-5 type stuff...which hasn't been very normal throughout my careers!)

Also moving on....sure-to-be-first-ballot-hall-of-fame Quarterback Bret Favre...to the New York Jets?!! I have had very mixed feelings about that announcement...Here you have a guy who RETIRED back in March, and the wheels were set in motion to make Aaron Rodgers the starting QB and possible heir to the Favre throne...yet the King apparantly couldn't stay away from his castle in Green Bay, and made a very childish attempt to throw a monkeywrench into any plans to move on.

In any case...yes...he is a hall-of-fame Quarterback who...as evidenced by last season's tremendous run in titletown...HAS the ability to lead a team to multiple victories on his arm, and I can only imagine if he was able to quickly grasp Jon Gruden's complex offensive scheme...would have been as deadly as any starting Quarterback in the league...That remains the only variable here, though...IMO...Will Bret work hard enough to learn his new offense?...and other than playing against Green Bay....will his game work ethic be as sharp as it was? Does he have enough of the love of playing and competing in his mind to match what might be left in his tired, old body? I also think he could have been an improvement injury-prone-wise to Jeff Garcia....but Garcia was a pro-bowler last season and proved he can do the job very well also...so that leads me to question wether or not this would have been the right move for Tampa Bay. Now, at least...we can all move on to bigger and better things...like rooting for our respective teams during the upcoming season. I'll be happy to catch Vikings games with friends, but will...as always....be hoping for a successful season for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers!
http://deadspin.com/5034121/madden-09-an-overdraft-notice-and-a-buccaneers-fan-wants-to-end-it-all

Bull loves man!

2008-08-05T09:06:00.002-06:00

http://www.ananova.com/news/story/sm_2953708.html

Horny bull fancied farmer

A farmer landed in hospital after a horny bull mistook him for a cow.

The randy steer tore off the farmer's clothes in a frenzy after he caught the scent of cows on them at the dairy farm in Wies Dlugie, eastern Poland.

Terrified Stan Markowski, 68, tried to reject the amorous advances but was chased and tossed all round the field.

His daughter Danuta, 45, explained: "The bull smelt my dad who had just been with cows and thought he was a cow ready for mating.

"But when my dad pushed him off the bull went mad began to charge and toss him around the field, tearing his clothes and hurling him to the ground.

"He managed to get away and ran home - completely naked, terrified and bleeding."

Ahhhh...the urges of nature, eh? Scary stuff! Even for a former farm boy like myself!

Happy August!

2008-08-01T11:40:00.002-06:00

and a "meep meep" August 1st to one and all! Speaking of yellow...there has been an awful lot of speculation regarding the Green and Yellow NFL goldmine team known as the Green Bay Packers, and the fate of perhaps their most iconic player of all time, Brett Favre. For those that do not follow...Favre, the team's longtime Quarterback, held a press conference back in late March to finalize his retirement from the NFL. Recently...Favre announced his intent to return to football after all...but it appears the Packers organization wants to move on with former first round draft choice Aaron Rodgers as their signal-caller of the future, since the March announcement, perhaps before. Well now...it appears the team will try to convince Favre to stay retired with a lovely marketing contract package offer. "Favre said in a text message to ESPN reporter Ed Werder Thursday night(July 31st) that the marketing deal might be the best solution.

"There isn't a perfect solution to this, but Mark Murphy is at least trying," Favre told ESPN. "We know what they want and where I stand. His solution, although awkward and unsettling for most, may be the best in the end."

If the deal can't be worked out, Favre still could be reinstated and report to camp, presumably to force the team to trade him or reconsider releasing him. This could theoretically open the way for Favre to sign with the Minnesota Vikings...one of the Packers' rivals in the NFC North Division. Though we might yet be a long way from discussing anything like that happening yet, In my opinion...the thought of it just blows my mind as a sports fan...and leaves me to wonder what feelings are going to come out from fans and players alike, should that scenario play out!
Until next time! Hope your summer is going well!

New Job!

2008-07-18T16:03:00.002-06:00

Well...It had to happen! I had to get a job that includes doing what I dread trying the most...selling something! In this instance...it's actually promoting a real estate company...and a very cost-effective one at that...called "Help U Sell". It has been an interesting first week for it, too. Starting off with a picnic lunch, followed by a boat ride and drinks on the Mississippi, and alot of driving around and "placing" free listings of properties on a nice bunch of glossy-lookin' sheets! Basically...I smartbomb! Well, someone with Mayo or something is completely eliminating our smartbombing campaign in the clinic Subway...my boss thinks it is a competing realtor who works at Mayo. I have no proof any kind of way....but this past Friday...we re-hit the area after a campaign the day before...and I went back in the afternoon to check and see if our materials had been removed again...and sure enough....GONE!

So I am thinking of grabbing a delicious Subway lunch after a bombing campaign...strategically watching...and identifying "the enemy"! Wish Me Luck! ONEHITWONDER OUT!

Dreams....

2008-07-09T23:08:00.002-06:00

In My Dreams, It's still the same...your love is strong, it still remains

Dreamin'....Visions of you....feelin'...all the love I never knew...

Nooooo...only in my dreeeaaams...as real as it may seeeeemm..It was on-ly in myyyy dreeaams.

ohhhh..Dreaaam Weaaver....I be-lieve you can get me throughhhh the ni-hiiiight!

Dream ooonn...DREAM OOON!

O.K. So I've been pondering this invitation to dream big. I don't like this invitation. It makes me very uncomfortable, because as a Jesus Follower...I have trained myself to take life one day at a time...rather than plan out any longterm plans for what might be in store for me, or for christianity in my community and world as they stand and face the evils in it. The thing about the one day at a time habit is, though....is that each day might be my last on earth...and while I continually battle thoughts as to how that might be OK...I realize that to dream big on any given day is important. It is important to me, it is important to god, and it certainly must be important to all the people in my LIFE group on Wednesday night...because the silence in there was deafening...One might expect a cool dream from each person as the question was asked...but I don't recall more than maybe two or three responses...Now is that because we AREN'T dreaming big? I truthfully don't think so...I think maybe either our dreams are so scary big...we either cannot comprehend or grasp them...or cannot bring ourselves to tell others...fearing any slight reaction to these visions might shatter the very concept of them all together. I certainly know my personal dreams of an intimate relationship shared with a person of the opposite gender that eventually lead to a christ following family are screaming at me...But I tread these dream waters carefully...for fear any wrong step will shatter them....maybe it's like this song...Shattered Dreams by Johnny Hates Jazz!

And now you've given me, given me,
Nothing but shattered dreams, shattered dreams,
Feel like I could run away, run away,
From this empty heart....

prayer urgency heightens

2008-07-01T09:47:00.002-06:00

Well, here it is....only day 11 of my unemployment and I'm already starting to feel the heat of looking for some jobs...a job...any job now, really. I finally had my first interview in nearly 3 1/2 months, and am feeling good about my prospects for a breakfast attendant position in town here...nice M-F job mornings, too....But honestly, I have no idea what my chances truly are, and I am continuing to figure out how to put my best foot forward...not only in my job-seeking life...but in my personal and church lives as well....I have been on fire serving the past week and wonder how the lord might be blessing that...and have also been considering taking some personal steps for fulfillment and relationships. This Friday is the 4th of July....and it marks the 232nd anniversary of our country declaring seperation from the British. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28United_States%29

A room of delegates representing the 13 original colonies met that day...Among them, Benjamin Franklin, who stated "Yes, we must, indeed, all hang together, or most assuredly we shall all hang separately"...when debate about wether or not to take that giant step. Did you know John Hancock is the only one to actually sign the declaration that day? Most of the rest of the delegates didn't put their "John Hancock" on the document until August 2! I say "most" because did you also know three delegates never signed. Robert R. Livingston, a member of the original drafting committee, was present for the vote on July 2 but returned to New York before the August 2 signing. John Dickinson, a member of the Continental Congress from Pennsylvania, refused to sign. He was against separation from Great Britain and labored to change the language of the Declaration of Independence to leave open the possibility of a reconciliation. Thomas Lynch voted for the Declaration but could not sign it because of illness.

In a way...this has kind of been like those that have either stayed and "declared" themselves Jesus followers in our church...putting their ink to paper through baptism...or those who have decided it is not for them...or might be too ill...The Revolutionary war lasted 8 years...It is my hope as many as possible will continue to battle it out as long as it takes for them to fight off the enemy and will be coming to church for the long haul...no matter what the cost to personal comfort, relationships and lifestyles...Because there is hope in our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. Remember THAT this independence day!

growth, labels, and biking across the path

2008-06-23T09:52:00.003-06:00

Greetings from the intellectually curious! Another interesting LIFE group at church this week...one of two I will be attending as we study the mind of willow creek pastor Bill Hybels. For those of you needing more on what that amazing (and HUGE) ministry is all about...http://www.willowcreek.org/MiniSite/default.asp

Anyhoo...I have seen alot of growth in people throughout my 3-plus year tenure at Journey...and of course...also some "relapsing"...but I won't discuss any of that in this blog...because it is simply counterproductive to do so. It happens...we love and discuss...and we move on. Ever since I have fallen in love with following the teachings of Jesus Christ, and have come to falling in love with him as my savior...I have remained mindful of how I must let others work out their struggles(yes, I did say "remained"...because I always have carried that attitude, and have only begun to see the enemy trying to break me out of that mold since baptism)...and if the occasion arises...which it rarely has, to be honest...I put my two cents worth in.

I have recently prayed for people who are getting ready to accept christ as their personal savior this July 4th. I can admit I am very afraid for them, having gone through alot of months of struggling with how I want to be a disciple of Jesus...and feeling those taps on the shoulder from the enemy every once in a while to go back inside my shell. I am very grateful for the continued support and love of longtime brothers and sisters, and even more so, now that I have moved back to a spot I want to be at...amongst them and helping extend my time further towards the cause of bringing others to know Jesus.

A church sister brought up a thought I have been going over in my head and heart today. The thought of how we "label" others we first meet in our lives. This thought was expounded upon by others at LIFE group as well, and to some extent...regarding a buddy of Pastor Hybels...who after 7 or 8 long years of friendship...finally said he was "good to go" and become baptized(hilarious...you can see more of what the series is about at http://www.justwalkacrosstheroom.com/faqs.aspx )

I testified at LIFE group that I have been surprised by MANY people at my church as they have grown and came to know christ...and like many others...am excited to see where christ might bring seekers. It truly has lit a fire under my butt to continue extending myself beyond "the comfort zone" of laying back and watching life go by and NOT helping others. I know that I am commanded to help others by Jesus. There is one person inparticular that really helps me, because she has shared her story before and will do so again soon...so I know better who she is and what she is about and can't label her anymore as this grumpy curmudgeon when she first started to come to church...and it is the most awesome thing in the world to see that change happen with not only her...but many others.

Another good friend of mine emphasized to some extent what a video clip at church of a golf outing between friends...one a church goer, another not...showed...

We were biking together and meeting others along the path coming the opposite direction. A simple little "hello" to each person...especially if you might get a routine of time each day going, and they happen to go along a similar timeframe and path...that simple little "Hi" each time may just open something up...you never know with the lord! Now...how about a crazy story recently of the game of baseball for you that I caught this week. Have a good one!...Happy to be back in Rochester!

In Addition, here is a link to a site that has the "official" switch pitcher rule put in place in the wake of this...
http://yankees.lhblogs.com/2008/07/03/the-switch-pitcher-rule-change/

R.I.P. Charlie Jones

2008-06-13T17:08:00.002-06:00

Most today are mourning the death of NBC News' reporter/commentator Tim Russert...But I would like to pay tribute to another sad death in the world of sports announcers. Of course...Jim McKay was a big one a few days back...but this guy was also one of my favorites.

Charlie Jones died Thursday of a heart attack. He was 77. Jones started at ABC in 1960 broadcasting American Football League games.
In 1965, he moved to NBC, continuing to broadcast the AFL and later the National Football League. He would work NFL games until 1997, when NBC lost their NFL broadcasting rights to CBS.

I will most remember him announcing NFL games(usually the Raiders or a west coast game on NBC)and the classic calls he had in the 1987 Fiesta Bowl national championship loss by the Miami Hurricanes vs Penn State.

Dick Ebersol, the Chairman of NBC Universal Sports & Olympics...released this statement.

"All of us at NBC are saddened at the passing of one of the great pioneers of NBC Sports. His work in particular on the NFL, golf and the Olympics left a lasting legacy."

R.I.P. Charlie Jones...I will always have great memories of you with Merlin Olson and Todd Christenson on those late Sunday afternoon doubleheaders featuring a California or west coast team.

Natalie Portman Boyfriend

2008-06-13T16:25:00.002-06:00

Now, why the heck is Natalie Portman(for those that don't know...she is an actress...most famous for her portrayal of Padme Amidala in the latest "Star Wars" trilogy)....why the heck is Natalie Portman dating "Non"...Zod's henchman? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non_%28DC_comics%29

The Jeffersons strike again!

2008-06-10T09:20:00.004-06:00

Movin on up...to that de-luxe apart-ment...in the skyyyyyyyyy!

Well, once again...I find myself back in the big city...still looking for a job I can tolerate...but at least back where I am not so depressed, and can serve at a higher level than I have wanted to in the past year and a half or so. Of course, the hope is that I will be able to come up with my own domicile somewhere...but for now...I will rent from some very giving and gracious friends whom I have come to love and respect a great deal. Now go kick some butt and have a great week/month! http://www.theonion.com/content/node/39224/print/

what is going on with gun SAFETY?!

2008-05-20T19:43:00.002-06:00

You may have heard the one about the police chief in Utah who accidentally discharged a gun during a demonstration how to clean it in front of a class...if not...http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/05/police-chief-sh.html?csp=34

But what about this one?...actual video of an officer at a safety demonstration event sponsored by the Orlando, Florida Minority Youth Golf Association. What is even more crazy is the fact that officer actually CONTINUED to teach, going on to demonstrate a MACHINE gun. If you listen closely, you might hear someone say “put it down”! What is even MORE crazy is the fact the video surfaced at all, seeing as the man is an UNDERCOVER Drug enforcement agent! LOL...CRAZY!

wow...time for a thought again!

2008-05-05T20:36:00.003-06:00

Seems forever since I've published an actual thought on here. Well, this one comes from what we are currently examining at church...the book of Daniel. Wikipedia puts this charachter of the bible as an Israelite who becomes an adviser to Nebuchadnezzar, a Babylonian King. The story of Daniel(whos name is changed to Belteshazzar after his "enslavement") includes his fierce allegiance to God, despite being ordered to worship the kings...his devotion to god was respected by many of these lords, however...as especially was his interpretations of his majesty's dreams. He is referred to by Christians as one of the four great prophets, and Jesus is quoted as referring to him as "Daniel the prophet" in Matthew 24:15(and one of the verses in Mark, too, I guess)...

What fascinates me most about Daniel, though...is this ability to know what dreams his kings have had, and come up with the answers god has put forth. His visions of the end of our world and the antichrist have also peaqued my interest greatly...as I have had a lifelong fascination with how the world around me might be heading this direction. Of course, without being able to read such works as "Daniel and Revelation : a study of two extraordinary visions" by James M Efird, I can only begin my study by saying these verses in the latter half of Daniel's book are frightening, yet comforting. To know that it is possible, according to Daniel, that we have until the year 3000 or so for all this to play out is also comforting for me...but scary for any ancestors that might be born in the next decade...Oh, well...as the old saying goes..."we shall see!"

feelings...nothing more than...

2008-04-30T19:45:00.001-06:00

All "Used Up"

2008-03-27T12:02:00.002-06:00

Today, I was reading an article announcing the engagement of Jamie Lynn Spears to the father of her soon-to-be-born child. In the article, it mentioned a quote from a top photo agency head...which said the paparazzi is "all over" Britney now, despite the airing of her appearance on the sitcom "How I met your mother" this past week. Buzzphoto founder Brad Elterman was also quoted by the New York Daily News as saying "Over the weekend, there were less than a half dozen covering Britney, Yet there were 30 in the pack covering Miley Cyrus. Most of them were Britney regulars, but they want something new and fresh. It's moved on to Miley."

That's what amazes me about the media. We are 5 years into the Iraq War...and the mass media is so aware how sick of hearing about it the public is...one barely gets a word about what is happening now.

From the rollingstone controversial photoshoot in 1999 to the on and off relationships with men, babies with k-fed, to the 2007 head shaving after a one night stay at drug rehab, and ultimate loss of custody and psychiatric trauma...Britney has gone about as far as one can go for the hordes of photographers that have followed her...I pray that times are now gonna change for her with this insight, but pray for Miley and others the media tries to use for selling tabloids!

Happy Easter

2008-03-20T19:27:00.002-06:00

Well, Easter is here...as is my birthday... ahhh...I still remember the days as a child watching Saturday morning cartoons...Amazingly, a friend came up with an old favorite of mine for her birthday!

well...that's not actually from the show...but is one of the funnier and at least mostly clean parodies I've seen!

Actually....here's a more interesting show I watched on Saturday mornings..

and perhaps my favorite cartoon of all time...

anyway...happy easter! I'm a bunny!

Tom Green: Fox 11 Weather

Happy Valentines! Jesus loves you!(according to David Tyree as well!)

2008-02-14T17:33:00.002-06:00

Check out the following link for more about David's Jesus Story

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/02/11/sports/football/11tyree.html?_r=1&th&emc=th&oref=slogin

Lying Roger and Hollywood literally for sale

2008-02-13T20:14:00.002-06:00

GREAT day today!....I met with my pastor and emparted some thoughts/answers to basic questions of my beliefs/hopes/dreams of a life lived for the lord to the fullest I can live...but day would've been greater had I actually had a job interview...plenty of applications, but no interviews(which will, hopefully...come later!)...I saw a couple part-time interesting ones today when I checked my internet sources...but would really like a full-time job in Rochester...well...anyhoo...on to the comments surrounding news events of the day. One word about Roger Clemens...LYER!...another word comes to mind, as a matter of fact...DESPERATE

And how about that $22 million burning a hole in your pocket?....

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080213/ap_on_re_us/hollywood_for_sale;_ylt=AtTax4zmmUTo.sM1_AkdkRgDW7oF

I asked on Yahoo! Answers the question, and you can link and log in with your username and answer....what would be an imaginative thing to do with that land? I loved the answer mtnglo gave, I gotta tell ya...even though it wasn't the funny answer I was looking for!
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ah2kVktJO4JKIT32E2OjWE3sy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20080213150748AAoas6G

Keep u up to date on the job front! Happy Valentine's, too!

Ledger investigation FACTS

2008-01-24T17:02:00.001-06:00

long time, no blog...yada yada...

check out my new "link"(where I work) while you can....It's a gonna be changin' as soon as I can figure something out....

There's a section on the page "about us"...you can click on...and scroll down to see my pretty mug and some stuff about me...gotta admit...love my radio station's website!

Anyhoo...I thought I'd kick off my 2008 blog editions with the latest on what everyone is talking about surrounding the hollywood scene...Heath Ledger and the FACTS surrounding his death....alot of crud has been "speculated" about....and this author wants what he was trained to give as a news reporter....FACTS.

FACT... He was taking prescription medicine, seemingly to help him with a sleeping problem.

FACT...According to a publicist, Ledger had the flu in the days preceding his death

FACT....He may have been suffering from pneumonia prior to his death, although this is yet to be confirmed.

and FACT..... The results of the autopsy performed on Ledger's body were inconclusive, and we'll have to wait a further ten days for the results of further tests.

what interests me, though is not the death....but the Mary Kate Olson angle...People magazine is reporting that Ledger and Olsen...best known as half of the darling Michelle Tanner on the ABC late 80's-90's sitcom "Full House"....were dating(a claim her rep has denied), but not exclusively, for three months....The mag also states that the pair loved to party.(though if they'd been seen together doing that ONCE...does that constitute a report on such a thing?)

Nonetheless...It appears The masseuse who discovered Ledger's body at the apartment at 421 Broome St. in SoHo, Manhattan New York called actress Mary-Kate Olsen, a friend of Ledger's, twice before calling 911, acccording to a "police source with knowledge of the investigation". Olson was in California when she got the phone calls. Olson was not the apartment's owner, as had been reported...according to her publicist.

Olson told the masseuse she would call private security people in New York, and Emergency personnel arrived about seven minutes after a subsequent 911 call by the masseuse...around the same time as a private security person summoned by Olsen did.

Ledger's former fiancee, actress Michelle Williams, returned to the U.S., along with their 2-year-old daughter, Matilda, to her Brooklyn home Wednesday night. She has been filming a movie in Sweden.

It seems Ledger had been pretty distressed ever since their breakup last summer. They had met on the set of "Brokeback Mountain" in 2005. Williams had shared the apartment with Ledger in '06 thru middle of last year. Add to this the fact that Ledger had just come off filming his role as arch villain The Joker in the upcoming "Batman" movie installment...a role which disturbed Ledger, according to The Associated Press...and the possible new "relationship" with Mary Kate, and you can see quite a bit of the "stresses" in his life!

UPDATE: http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/celebrity/la-na-ledger7feb07,1,2852903.story?ctrack=1&cset=true

Ledger's family stands behind their belief that the 28-year-old Oscar-nominee would not commit suicide....and certainly the fact that Ledger had the flu prior, and had pill bottles nearby, might point to an accidental overdose....but in my view...getting away from his life's stresses...punctuated by that darn Michelle Tanner(half anyway)...would've been a better idea!...not that I'm saying NOT having a relationship would be the best...because having a relationship is very important in life...but with all the stress input...I'm just saying it's a better idea people take it easy when they're "on the rebound"...OK? Oh well, live, love and learn!

My best to anyone else that has seen this type of thing happen in their family...and god bless everyone for 2008!

Long awaited update for All Hallows

2007-10-30T17:46:00.000-06:00

Since I started at the radio station in Preston this past July/August...things have continued to stay busy. One thing I would like to share in this blog today as I conclude a "double shift" at the radio station(don't ask!) is the surprising inquiry as to when I would be headed to church in Rochester again by someone who has not been there to check out the Journey church at the movies. I hesitate in putting up many questions towards this friend, but know from my readings of the McManus book we are exploring this month that this individual is indeed, someone who may very well wish to making steps towards "belonging" in this wild and wacky kingdom of god! Or....perhaps just a trip to see the movies was in his mind! In any case, I look forward to some Sunday we can make the trip up and I can show him this amazing group of people and amazing adventure. I'd also better get off my proverbial butt and sign up for some more "service" at church. I resolve this month to stay in contact with the worship leaders and will also continue to have daily talks with god as I know them as to when I wish to move forward again another baby step...I continue to wish February/March were here already...but also look forward to the challenges the current job will bring me through the holiday season, and the continuing messages at church that will continue to help shape my thoughts of faith!

Baptizin thoughts on a rainy, no-brainy day

2007-09-10T11:52:00.000-06:00

I must admit....and not to inflate my Pastor's ego or anything....but it really was a seemingly well thought out and timely sermon this past Sunday as I get back to my adventures with God here in Southeastern Minnesota. It has been a strange and surreal time...more so than I had expected...both before I got back...and even NOW....at this time in my walk....it HAS seemed tough without having the opportunities to meet/greet people of similar beliefs(In essence, because of my nutty profession, places of residence...wether they were hundreds of miles, or just 35 miles away and a busy daily schedule), and at least being back at church in Rochester, I can now reach out in a more comfortable way every Sunday... knowing I won't be alone in the battle....knowing I've got a great group of believers that I have come to know and trust to back me up.....This point about baptism rang out loud and clear from Rich, and nearly brought me to tears as I realized too many choose to take the easy, dissasociative path in today's world. To those who have not heard me say it...I am amazingly shy to meet and strike up a meaningful conversation...especially for a radio guy...and I am battling on a daily basis with the problem. Just know this, people!!!....Wether you are shy or not, It really does need to be a "go and have a cup of coffee" time after you start to get to know other believers AWAY from the Sunday/group get togethers...despite any crazy, nutty schedules you are keeping. In ways, I too, continue to choose this lonely road....but yet I know I am so willing to completely burst this crazy bubble...and to get an answer to that long sought question I think most everyone of faith probably runs into once in awhile..."Why Am I Here?"....I have known for a long, long time that I am here to listen...and to pray...for the REAL people and their very real problems/walks. But I am coming to realize more, and as I wrote the following on my welcome card at church this week for just the Pastor and prayer team....I would now like it repeated for everyone to see/hear(talk about living dangerous Jesus!)...and am kind of bummed out I am stuck at work and can't be there to bring it out in person at LIFE group this week....

You see, I was very close to not coming to church this week because of the many expectations I have had of myself, how easy just going around and serving had become in the past, and of how easy I had expected to transistion back into life at Journey...

But I ran into roadblocks I did not forsee....namely...the "REAL" people that are served by the body of Journey church, and the realization that it IS someone who must be (figuratively speaking of course) naked to not only declare their willingness to show current believers....but to welcome in the new people and their hopes and dreams of Christ's kingdom....in otherwords...it really does have to be someone who has been baptized into the flock...who has been willing to put it all on the line publicly...not just privately for the few selected individuals they have chosen as their "friends." I have always struggled with this about baptism....It seemed like it was simply a "seeing is believing" type thing...with a bunch of water over the head...blah blah blah....but it is so much more(how much more, I am hoping to learn)...This is going to become my new mission being back with Journey Church....figuring out how I am going to draw up a "battle plan" and as Rich put it..."Declare War." as I continue to shape towards the ultimate goal...Baptism! By the way....can't wait to get back up on Sunday, but am nervous as can be going into Little Starz area at church....but at least with no grandiose expectations!

By the way...to the person that shall remain nameless at this time because I have come to trust them and their amazing secret heart, and is hopefully in this room when this is read...and I hope someday will be able to have the trust and a baptism to let me or another help them...thanks ALWAYS for listening and sharing...there are truly great friends I have made here at Journey, and I AM so glad I left Grinnell, Iowa to be back and continue this faith walk!

Top 5 Movie or TV "Cliffhangers"

2007-08-10T14:02:00.000-06:00

OK, I was surfin' the net, and saw some doozeys...but came up with my own "Top 5" list of Cliffhangers on more-than-one-part type movies' or Television Series' (at least since the late '70's)...here goes(with much plagiarism as possible, due to time constraints!)

#5. Jack’s Gotta Go Back (“Lost” Season 3, Episode 23)During the 2007 finale, we watched as a mopey Doctor Jack boozed it up and grew a rad beard. At the climax, we realize it wasn’t a flashback at all, but Jack’s heartache after getting off the island with Kate. His final, ominous declaration of “We gotta go back” was good for chills, multiplied to the 4,815,162,342nd degree.

#4. Two Cathedrals ("West Wing", Season 2 finale)

The President is beset by memories of Mrs. Landingham as her funeral approaches. Meanwhile, the staff deals with a crisis in Haiti and questions from congressional Democrats regarding the President's health, following his disclosure that he suffers from MS. But the question on everybody's lips remains the same – will President Bartlet seek reelection? Though I haven't watched the series...In his "Inside the Actors Studio episode", Martin Sheen(who plays the President) is told by the host, James Lipton, that this episode was the best hour of television ever made.

#3. Picard…of Borg! (“Star Trek: The Next Generation” Season 3, Episode 26)Damn Borg: Emotionless and devoid of any human reason, they’ve been a bigger thorn in Starfleet’s side than Captain Kirk’s sexual harassment suits. As Commander Riker looks on, “Locutus of Borg,” aka an assimilated Captain Picard, appears via viewscreen. What else can Riker do but order his ship to “fire”—and what else can Trekkers do except set their phasers to “stunned”?

#2. Who Shot J.R.? (“Dallas” Season 2, Episode 25)
TV series cliffhangers weren’t put into heavy rotation until CBS struck oil with their bombastic attempted murder of J.R. Ewing, the slimy Texan who put the screws to just about everyone in the preceding season. Relaxing in his office one evening, a mysterious shooter puts three bullets into him. In a cliffhanger that gave birth to a cultural phenomenon, the nation spent the next several months debating who had the cojones to pull the trigger.

and the #1 movie/TV series cliffhanger, according to me...

Han Solo on Ice (“Star Wars: Episode V—The Empire Strikes Back”)

Fans may loathe George Lucas for any number of reasons: Ewoks, Jar Jar, allowing Harrison Ford to gain 20 pounds for “Return of the Jedi.”

But the Beard outdid himself in 1980, when he and director Irvin Kershner made a sequel to the most successful film of all time. By way of torment, the first two hours had everything fans had clamored for: spectacular space battles, lightsaber duels, startling revelations.

But as the film wound to a close, unease began to creep in. Darth Vader was still at large. Worse, iconic rogue Han Solo had been frozen in Carbonite and dragged off to Yoda knows where courtesy of bounty hunter Boba Fett. Lucas had made the ultimate homage to his beloved film serials, and ran credits over several unresolved issues. But unlike the reels from his youth, fans would have to wait years, not weeks, for resolution.

It was torture worthy of the Sarlaac Pit!

I'm sure I am forgetting a ton of stuff from some of the most popular TV or movie series of all time....but I'll think about it later...at the moment...my head hurts! Meanwhile, Feel free to comment some of your own!

Back home again....so far....eh...

2007-08-10T09:55:00.000-06:00

Well, here I sit at my mom's computer in Harmony....blogging for the first time since moving back from Iowa to the great Gopher state! Work has been quite uneventful, though things will definetly be picking up with the end of summer celebration schedule hitting next week, and then the fall sports season and school starting the end of the month. I will be headed back to church for the first time in over six months this Sunday, and am very excited about reuniting with good friends(speaking of which, I gotta get on Meebo with Bill this morning!)...I had hoped I would be more excited about everything...but I am actually a little apprehensive about the "change" that may have happened in the seven or so months with myself or with others I hope to see again. I truly get frightened about how others perceive me, and I don't like it! In any case, my continued prayer will be in my ability to stay strong and communicative through my relationships with others...but even more so that I can get a good relationship re-started in a public-setting worship with God!

Sports Scandal Shocker

2007-07-20T19:41:00.000-06:00

Unbelievable! It was learned today the FBI is investigating NBA referee Tim Donaghy for allegations that he bet on games that he officiated over the past two seasons and that he made calls affecting the point spread in those games. I thank the gods it was not an NFL referee...and I don't care that much for pro basketball anyway...but it certainly does tarnish pro sports...and basically any sport that can be gambled on...in my eyes, and in many others, I'm sure. I am not quite sure how this news will affect me as the avid fan I've been of sports...but rest assured...it is a SHOCKER!

So I have four days left of work before I pack up and get out of Grinnell, Iowa! Thanks again to all those that have prayed, and will continue to pray...and I shall be anxiously making a trip to Rochester soon to see many great friends that I had left behind while trying this chapter of my life that has just not worked out. Can't wait to see y'all!

The future(or "history") starts NOW!(at age 36)

2007-07-08T19:20:00.000-06:00

I have been keeping a song on "repeat" in both my head and on my myspace profile page(picked up from the radio station's playlist)....it is from the popular music group "Five For Fighting"...titled "World."

The song is all about deciding what kind of "world" you want it to be, because your choices make a difference...and indeed, that is the kind of thing rattling around in my head repeatedly these days as I have made the fateful decision to move out of here and back home to Southeastern Minnesota.

I miss so many people dearly, and I don't know if it was my fears of not liking it down here that has driven me to feel so sheltered, my nice apartment, or what...but I am handing in my two weeks notice on Tuesday...hopeful of another successful target of jobs online on Monday as well. If I can swallow my pride, I figure to give my pastor a call as well and hopefully, we can have a chat without me bawling my head off! Saw another friend and proud new father leave a myspace invite...took it...and found yet another person who had started to become a friend through it, and made an invite....not bad for one day's myspacin'! :) Anyway....this has been my first blog in a while...it has indeed been a busy job...and I hope to get back to "sharing" happenings of this "world" I have surrounding myself with others that I can care about, and will care back towards...soon...
parting thought from a lyric snippet from the five for fighting song...
"Printed on the box I see
A.C.M.E.'s Build-a-World-to-be
Take a chance - Grab a piece
Help me to believe it"....we ALL can believe from being together towards one goal...and that is our lord and savior Jesus Christ and his commitment towards us...
HISTORY STARTS NOW!

A father's day visit....

2007-06-15T07:14:00.000-06:00

Update: The "Anniversary week" went great at the radio station....cake was served(and eaten...not bad...but Hy-Vee always comes through!)...and all that bad weather got through early for it, too...turned out to be a beautiful Thursday evening! Now another possibility has sprung up in my life....got a call from my sister saying she had spoken with one of my first radio employers...and the sad news that things were getting worse for one of my former fellow employees there who has been battling cancer...but the possibility that had arisen from it for employment there...back home...
It has been an extremely alluring possibility to go back to Southeastern Minnesota and live out the rest of my life...or at least the rest of my parent's lives for now....Another difficulty in life, but one that can be extremely awarding, in my opinion....is taking care of the people that took care of you for so many years....and I hope with this possibility....alot of time spent can be achieved through these "golden years"...and I am thankful that I may have the opportunity...we'll update once we know more about what is needed...and if I can figure out how I can sustain a living by taking this possible opportunity.

Prayer gettin' us through it all...

2007-06-06T09:54:00.000-06:00

Now, If I can only figure out for myself how to sustain living AND serve my lord better. It continues to be a difficult decision-making process....I have a great salary and benefits, and if I could embrace this community...things might become different for me. But for some reason, I can't bring myself to do it....I don't know if it's because the job I do is so crazy, I am simply just overwhelmed and cannot be creatively giving...but I am giving myself this month to face it before calling the decision to move here a failure. I spent much of the day Monday searching online for employment in my "dream" areas of the country....Oregon and Florida....Now I need time to pray...and for anyone reading this blog...to pray for me on a decision. It was another nice time at softball last night...a scrimmage because the other team didn't have enough players show up. There were "encouragers" of my unathletic self and I had a good time speaking encouragement to others as well. This week begins a 13 week run of a contest to commemmorate our station's 50th anniversary on the air...it will hopefully be fun to do, and it is so far not looking good for an outdoor event with us serving cake during a concert in the park gathering weather-wise...but that also...might be something to inspire...

In any case...I hope anyone that would read this might be inspired...by either my thoughts, or the thoughts I pasted below from one of my favorite authors sent in an e-mail chain recently....have a great day/week/whenever I get back to you again!

In an interview by Paul Bradshaw with reknown "Purpose Driven Life" series writer Rick Warren, Rick said:

People ask me, What is the purpose of life? And I respond: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body-- but not the end of me.

I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity.

We were made by God and for God, and until you

figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one.

The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort.

God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy.

We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness.

No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on.

And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for.

You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life.

Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book)(Purpose Driven Life) sold 15 million co pies, it made me instantly very wealthy.

It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease.

So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do, II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72

First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases.

Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church.

Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call The Peace Plan to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor , care for the sick, and educate the next gene ration.

Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free.

We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity?

Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better. God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do.

That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD.
Difficult moments, SEEK GOD.
Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD.
Painful moments, TRUST GOD.
Every moment, THANK GOD.

man...where does the time GO?!!

2007-05-21T14:35:00.000-06:00

Can't keep up with this blog lately, it seems! Gonna drive myself nuts with all this household chore stuff and constant checks of jobs on the computer...plus work and exercise!....well...here's something funny for the religious-minded I thought I'd share....been on a "simpsons" kick lately....especially on youtube/myspace!

Enjoy!
End Times

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Here I sit with a couple o' days off...

2007-05-07T08:47:00.000-06:00

New schedule is weird...Wednesday through Friday afternoon/early evening shifts(get off Fridays by 7)...then do a Saturday and Sunday mornin'..(bout a 5 am to noon-ish shift)....At least it's down to 5 days a week....but I plan on getting in more hours somehow...to make salary....or I'll likely get talked to by da boss!

Will have softball now to occupy my time....hope it will be a fun one...and that the rain will stay away for a couple of days, at least!

Yayyy! Jesus is back! rolleyes...riggggghhhht!

Can Paris Hilton make it on two pairs of socks, one bra, two pairs of panties and two blue jumpsuits for a week in Jail?

COMMUNICATE, PLEASE!

2007-04-30T10:57:00.000-06:00

click to link-THIS IS ONE BIG REASON I DON'T GET INTO THE "CHAT" ROOMS! Though Blogging certainly leaves the door open for it, too....I guess....hmmmm...

Anyway....if something is going on....TALK to a friend, neighbor, teacher, parent, adult child or minister, PLEASE!

end of rant for the day....have a good one!

NFL Draft Day!

2007-04-28T08:41:00.000-06:00

USC ALUM WILL FERRELL "TRAINING" CENTER PROSPECT RYAN KALIL FOR DRAFT...ENJOY! HOPE YOUR TEAM GETS WHO YOU WANT THEM TOO!

I am actually hoping Tampa Bay trades DOWN and ends up with Ted Ginn, Jr. Personally....I think he's the best pure athlete to come out of college since Bo Jackson!(though no baseball hitting or basketball skillz...though Bo didn't have a heckuva jump shot, either...I guess..)

GET SOME NUTS!

2007-04-27T11:02:00.000-06:00

HAVE A FANTASTIC WEEKEND!...CHECK THIS OUT..

Simply put...a nothing to blog kinda day/week!

2007-04-22T18:40:00.000-06:00

OK...there is nothing new...and it's time to blog again! Really....I wish life would just move along here....

But as Howard Jones put it to song..."Things Can Only Get Better".....Let's leave you with a random link, then...to make this at least SOMEWHAT entertaining! Later!

ONE OF THE MOST CLASSIC MOMENTS AND SUBSEQUENT SPEECHES IN PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING HISTORY! GO TO ABOUT 2:45 AND WATCH NASH'S COMMENTS ABOUT IT...THEN SEE THE SPEECH HULK HOGAN DELIVERS TO "MEAN GENE"....SIMPLY AMAZING SCRIPT, IMO!

happy friday, the 13th!

2007-04-13T21:33:00.000-06:00

Made it to yet another weekend...and it looks like the weather is finally gonna turn the corner! Not too many days left until the new ownership takes hold of the radio station this week, and we got a taste of what that will be like this week when the current owner took the week off someplace. Was pretty nice, but it still has not gotten much easier socially...though talking more with the news guy has hope that we might have a get-together stirred up one of these times!(he likes to play games, and sounds like a get-together to do that might be in the offings one of these times)
Anyhoo....I see my oldest nephew's wife has a birthday coming up...hope it will be a great one!(that myspace is awesome for remembering your favorite people's birthdays!)....so glad I've got those taxes done! Decent refunds coming my way, too! Visit to home was brief...but nice! I'll write again when I write, I guess! That's it for now! Stay safe, reader! SOMETIMES ENOUGH IS ENOUGH, DON'T YOU THINK? MY FAVORITE SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON CERTAINLY PASSED THAT MESSAGE ALONG!

Amazin' April?

2007-04-02T11:54:00.000-06:00

Whew! I finally sat down, logged into blogger, and have started to type this week's installment(albeit over 4 days late!) of thoughts on life...as it is, that is...

Kudos to Sara Ellingson for gettin' together with my folks to get my bicycle back to me! I'm sure bent on using it this spring/summer down here, that's for sure!

I have to admit....these days have been a little depressing, but the "homesickness" will not get any better If I do not figure out how to find some friends without going to church!(I work EVERY Sunday morning!)

Only other random thought I have is how exciting it will be to spend some hours back home in Harmony with my family the Saturday before Easter! Very much looking forward to that! I miss my friends from Journeychurch SO MUCH....have to figure out a way to make myself e-mail/chat/post without getting all bent out of shape to them! I have even had thoughts of talking to my old girlfriend, Ann...about possibly getting back together after she graduates and starts looking for a new job...and I do not like it one bit!(don't worry, she doesn't even know about this blog, OR my myspace...so I'm hopefully...safe for now! ;) ) Of course, we would not make the mistake of living together this time around...and lord only knows how she'd feel about it, and how my parents/family would feel about it....or even how I might feel about it, eventually!....perhaps it is just this loneliness.....Well...my mom is coming to visit for a week in May...so maybe that will help a little, too! Later!

Don't like this year's Birthday...

2007-03-22T23:22:00.000-06:00

Well, another year wiser, I guess! Saturday, I turn 36 years old....and will probably REALLY begin contemplating where I am in my life since that fateful last August day when my life was turned upside down! Things really aren't that great here in Grinnell, Iowa...but I am hanging in there and hoping for better relationships to form between myself and my new associates....and maybe some things will start happening once I begin to hit the remote circuit. Our first one is next Friday...the city home show and business expo. Not much else to say....I am still keeping my eye every once in a while on the Des Moines want ads....but to be honest....I'm not sure what my options are at this point....I just continue to pray...and wait for the true signal from my lord that he wants me here, or somewhere else...

the "ides" of March

2007-03-15T20:16:00.000-06:00

toooe-ga! toooo-ga! toooo-ga!

Seriously....Spring will be springing any day now....so why am I becoming filled with these feelings of dread over it? Well....as far as my job goes....it could very well mean all h-e-double-hockey sticks is about to break loose...as A. More criminal mischief/travel will be happening...meaning a helluva lot more stupid news to report(drinking, drugs and such...gawd...who cares? It's everywhere! Get a clue, you "community oriented" crazies!)

B. "Spring" farm shows/home shows/fair-type stuff....will start to become more and more prevalant...

C. I'll be stuck indoors for hours on end on nice days again.....why can't a person work two different full-time jobs at different times of the year?! One outdoors for the late spring through early fall...and one indoors for the late fall through winter and early spring!

This would be a helluva lot more worth it if I had someone to share it all with! Sigh.....loneliness...

But at least today.....I got to stop by the landlord's place for an impromptu soup and sandwich supper that they threw for the residents....was very cool to meet new neighbors and see the landlords and their neighbors that I already knew from the superbowl get-together....wish I could get this camera-phone hooked up to my 'puter somehow...hmmmmm...something was mentioned about internet on the phone...I wonder....

Writing on a Monday while waiting for car insurance...still posting on Tuesday, though!

2007-03-06T09:44:00.000-06:00

Alright....so hopefully, my State Farm Agent isn't gonna give me the runaround just to try and keep my insurance $....I think the Allstate guy I am signing up with is giving me a heckuva quote...problem is....If Jerry doesn't cooperate...I'm probably going to run into one heckuva big quote...being the single, mid-30's guy I am!

It was a good weekend....got to spend Saturday night and much of Sunday with the parents, as they swung through while returning to Southeast Minnesota from Arizona....sucks that they got stuck in Council Bluffs/Omaha area Friday night...and had to shack up(and luckily got) a hotel room for $89!..but at least they are safe and sound and no worse for wear! Well, we have one boys basketball team left in the state tournament...so we shall see how it goes this week...the owner wasn't happy about it(lost revenue from the teams we could have had?....figures)...but I'm betting the sports guy is glad about it...as he is getting weary, methinks! So some coach is going to call in the delayed dual team wrestling results?....Ohhhhkay.....we shall see how this works today, I guess! Wish me luck!

You'll be in good hands!!...soon...

2007-02-27T09:59:00.000-06:00

Well, today I narrowed down my choices and have decided to go in tommorrow and purchase a couple insurance policies from the Allstate guy in town! It probably isn't very good to be driving around uninsured when THIS Kind of stuff is happening?!! (prolly not!)
NFL QUARTERBACK SEEKERS....FIND OUT WHO TOBY KORRODI IS!

HAMMERIN' OUT PROMOS TO AVOID FIGHTIN'!

2007-02-20T13:18:00.000-06:00

Well, he doesn't show it very well....but I have the feeling the sports guy is REALLY stressed out right now...with coverage of state wrestling and basketball games just about every night(not to mention day REPLAY games done by a couple other guys!)....it's no wonder he seems on the edge! I am really hoping they can hire the extra sales help...so after this summer...the guy can catch a break! Our station manager headed back to New Mexico for a couple days to move his family up here....I will miss him these next few days...he has kept me sane(must be that Christianity thing, eh?).....Better get to work! Times a-wastin'!

we've got one WEIRD owner at this radio station!

2007-02-15T20:59:00.000-06:00

Ok...today was very odd. I am noticing more and more that the owner of this radio station likes to lay back and listen...and then spring his trap like some kind of negative hunter when something...anything...happens! I'll tell you what happened...

So the pager goes off from the newsroom...and I'm sure....in the owner's office somewhere....about a fire call in the city. My station manager...already in the vicinity of the newsroom...listens, and I come out of the studio to find out what the fuss is about. So it's a "minor" fire.....that appears happened at someone's home and was quashed quickly.....Well....we were gonna leave it at that.....but do you think this ambulance chasing mentality owner wants that? Nope....he wants to use his created format....hit the "roving red" sounder once at the scene....and sponsor it by Wes Finch Auto plaza....then blab about basically nothing after the fact that happened....In my opinion.....just to make another buck off an advertiser, while pleading "we are OBLIGATED to report to the community about what's happening!".....I don't buy it personally....but if that's his modis operendi....so be it!....I am really looking forward to the day this guy finalizes his sale to new ownership! I met the guy the other day, and he seems pretty cool! He remembered he had met Roseanne Davis(Rybak), one of my former bosses at KROC, and that was comforting....Also....I think the people I am working with on air are pretty cool.....work like son-of-a-guns....but are cool!(especially this sales/sports guy).....I don't know...I'm gonna keep at it! Pray for me!

FFA's, wrastlin' and more

2007-02-06T12:58:00.000-06:00

Well, Almost one o'clock....still haven't decided what I'm going to do as far as communications go from my new apartment. Still learning alot at the radio station, and am hoping this Saturday's remote wrestling reports go well...especially since I need a new driver's side front tire on my car! The air is leaving the current one REALLY fast lately in this sub-zero freeze! We'll keep u up to date on the latest from the Poweshiek Perimiter! (whoo-hoo! There was a plane crash here last Friday!...small, dinky thing...but at least our news guy made the Iowa sound bite from it! I'm John Milne, wishing you...the good news!(that's our news outro!)

Well, Here I am!

2007-02-01T18:17:00.000-06:00

It has been an interesting week, with an interesting new radio station owner in this small East Central Iowa community! He sure has been trying to help "mold" my image! For one thing, I am tending to get a little too MUCH "voice influct" when I open up the microphone. It's tough to stay sane in a supposed music format that really isn't a music format, though...OK...for those of you "in the know"...it's kind of like listening to KFIL in Preston....but with ten minute local news blocks and AWESOME local sports coverage! The guy even reports the fifth and sixth grade results...he must be nuts! Anyhoo...want to get out of here and munch on some grub, but wanted to blog that things are going ok work-wise....I'm hoping to build the social network as time rolls along....but so far...have really been concentrating on the job! Have yourselves a GREAT DAY! Swim with a buddy!(as Rich Peterson says on KROC-AM...lol)

GOODBYE, ROCHESTER!

2007-01-23T09:15:00.000-06:00

Well i been workin' in a coal mine
Goin' down down down...
Workin' in a coal mine
WHEW!... about to slip dow-w-w-wn!
Five o'clock in the morni-i-in'
I'm up before the su-u-u-u-n...
When my work day is o--o-o-o-o-ver...
I'm too ti-i-i-ired for ha-vin' fu-u-u-n!
Lord, I'm gonna be SOOOOOO TIIIIRREED! But it's gonna be sooooooo goooood!

Yes, indeed....it will be a long week, for sure...with the Wednesday morning, Friday night and Saturday commutes....but a new chapter in my life has begun....and I hope you...my awesome friends in christ....will try and keep up with what's happening....there are some even more exciting times ahead...as the station I am with is already about to transition to another local owner, who also plans on finishing purchases of three other area stations that will hopefully...and ultimately...be networked together! Well...that's it...goodbye, Rochester....I wish all of you the very best as I move to Grinnell, Iowa!

How long can this go on?...well,
I been workin' goin' workin'
Whew about to slip down

Star Trek Inspiration posters are back!

2007-01-19T20:13:00.000-06:00

Hopefully, this is an update of how I made it through the week WITH a job offer. I have been trying really hard to get more applications in...now that I have decided to not ONLY seek radio jobs for my unemployment income requirement purpose, but driver jobs...or perhaps jobs that require organizational communication(such as a job at Mayo I applied for that deals with outpatient information services).

UPDATE: JANUARY 19....11:42 AM....Just got back from a radio job interview last night in Grinnell, Iowa. I'm about eighty-five percent sure I will be hired for this full-time position that will pay me close to 6 hundred dollars more per month than my last job with KROC(Big Cumulus?...tuh..not!).....so be praying for me that it is the best thing in my life for me right now! I will attempt to update this thread Friday evening...after a promised phone call comes my way! Guess Fairmont must not be interested....but I guess that's their loss, right? ;)

FRIDAY EVENING UPDATE: Well, this very well may be my last blog pre-Grinnell, Iowa internet! I have indeed been hired as afternoon personality for AM Stereo radio station, KGRN
(which, by the way....doesn't have the best website right now...you'll see by clicking on the link!) My last night as a live-in resident in Minnesota will be Tuesday, January 23rd. From there, I will work 3 days in Grinnell while staying at the local "Days Inn"...and then, hopefully...will be moving in to a new home(apartment in my case) on Saturday, January 27th!
I would like to thank all my friends and family for their loving support in making this decision to get back into radio after my layoff last summer! My Minnesota roots will always be there, I know...and I certainly hope to see some of you at some point down the road!(better yet...you can keep in touch with me by leaving comments on this blog!...I'll keep you in the loop of my life!)

It's no secret we're close as sweaty velcro

2007-01-10T12:39:00.000-06:00

unbelievable!

And I thought cool toys/entertainment musts were becoming a thing of the past with the advent of the internet and Ipods! I've gotta try and stay away from this second life thing! It can get too addicting...especially for one who is unemployed! Speaking of which....am anxious for the week to pass, so I can follow up on the radio job opening in Fairmont. I'm thinking of the possibility of two part-time jobs for now, too....so pray for these decisions, and job offers...to continue and be plentiful for me. Otherwise....I guess it's back to school and living on a loan or something....grrrrr.

"COPS" lived out at last!

2007-01-08T11:16:00.000-06:00

Ever been one of those people that always wondered what it would be like if a big "bust" happened right in front of you? Well, I became one of those witnesses of life of the law against bad guys when the boys from the Rochester Police Department "Pit maneuvered" this wanted guy that was apparently running from them because he had a huge load of drug paraphenalia, and consequently, was shot. You can read about the whole thing by browsing one of the city's many media outlet websites.

Just keep in mind, this is the real criminal element we are fighting BEFORE we get back to taking care of home!

Random thoughts as 2006 comes to a close

2006-12-30T00:58:00.000-06:00

Are you all CHOKED UP over the news of Saddam's execution? LOL

THIS, my friends....is why I am TIREDOFVIKES!(can't be tired of a college team...they don't get paid...but it is the CURSE that has befallen all football teams representing the state!)

OK...it's a quarter after one in the morning, and I gots to get up at 5:30 to go pick up a friend, so she can save some dough for the holidays by NOT taking a taxi! That's all! Have a Happy New Year!

Merry Xmas, 2006!

2006-12-25T22:10:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday(xmas eve day) at journeychurch, Pastor Rich Bontrager had a clip to show involving the Apollo 8 space mission...with some awesome video footage of earth from space...some of which were the first to be shot from the moon...which the astronauts became the first to circle from earth....they read from the book of Genesis on christmas eve, 1968. I had completely forgotten about this reading when it was shown...and quite frankly...got pretty choked up, because...well...number one...I have always been fascinated with our achievements in space...but more importantly...it really did jive well with the message of the season....christ was born, and nature itself as a result...was really reborn at that moment...but so many of us take advantage of that as well as the story of christ's birth....as Pastor Rich put it....we really do need to embrace getting back to the garden of Eden!...the way the lord created it "in the beginning."
...and god needed a christmas, I think...he needed a new name that would not be blamed falsely for things that happen like hurricanes and floods and other disasters of nature since the apple and snake happened. I hope that everyone considered this on one of the holiest of days, and will consider taking Jesus Christ as their lord and savior!

Getting through the days...

2006-12-21T10:56:00.000-06:00

well, xmas is FINALLY here!!!....It truly is tough getting through day by day while looking for a radio job! Weird how many openings there are in South Dakota this week! Party tonight at the house for what SHOULD be a quite meaningless Vikings vs Packers game...at least as far as playoff implications go....but if Carolina can lose to Atlanta, the Giants and 49ers lose out, Dallas beats Philly, and then Philly beats Atlanta in week 17(plus the winner of tonight's game wins out)...who knows?!!

What to watch Saturday: GREG ODEN and his #3 ranked-Ohio State Buckeyes Men's Basketball team taking on the #5 ranked and defending national champion Florida Gators and Joakim Noah.

CHRISTMAS TIME IS HEEEEEEEERRE! So have a Merry one!

My present to you....link to the beginning of the STAR WARS HOLIDAY SPECIAL, via youtube!

7 days is up again? Already?!!

2006-12-14T11:12:00.000-06:00

Amazing when you don't have a job, how much time one COULD have on their hands...but doesn't! I really can't wait to get my shopping done, though! If I had any christmas gift ideas, I'd post them now!...but I just don't!....so do your own thinking! LOL.

Other random thought: Ohio State against Cincinatti this Saturday in Men's college hoops! Can't wait to check out Greg Oden in "live" gametime action! Have a good week, reader!

It really wasn't...random thought number 1 4 the week..

2006-12-07T12:14:00.000-06:00

Well, as far as college hoops go....nothing too much exciting going on this week. I am looking very much forward to seeing Ohio State play in the Big Ten Schedule soon...(they will also play Florida on the 23rd of December on CBS national TV!)....If you don't check out Greg Oden soon...you'll miss an opportunity to see the next "NBA 50 greatest" player!

My random thought for today is that there certainly are plenty of ways to make money! Should my venture back into the realm that is the world of radio broadcasting not pan out...I can accept that fate...perhaps get a summer job, and then go back to school in the fall(I'm looking into computer field)....or I can just let the spirit guide me somehow!(I'm gonna have to put ALOT of faith into that one, though!) We shall see...It is almost time for L.I.F.E. group...gotta run and share(to anyone that cares to come and also do that!)...otherwise...it's an afternoon with the pastor! Later!

Let's let everybody else control the world besides us! Sheesh!

2006-12-01T16:24:00.000-06:00

I am so sick of people that think they know everything when it comes to their sons and daughters on a sports team!

An amazing story from the Northern California High School Hoops annals, to be sure!

Hope to post more about the weekend in college hoops on Monday! Think I'll link to drudgereport for now! It's with my other favs on the lefthand side of this page, ya know!

Peace, out!

Can't wait to finish watching!

2006-11-30T09:55:00.000-06:00

Well, a decent week for the beginning of my holidays, I must say! Not only used some new "search for jobs on the internet" info from a daughter-in-law of my mom's friend and got some very juicy-looking hits...but found out my unemployment will likely continue with FULL benefits after quitting my job at Wal-Mart.(basically, would only be making about thirty to seventy bucks per paycheck more by keeping that job...not worth it, IMO...if I can produce results like I did this past week in job searching time!) Looks like church stuff continues in full swing, too....busy Sundays and a great christmas message series to go along with some fun holiday-time activities!(cookie bake and caroling to mention a couple!) More importantly, though...is get-togethers with church friends!

Was watching an AWESOME college basketball game last night on ESPN between top-rated Ohio State and 6th ranked North Carolina played in front of a usually packed arena at Chapel Hill. Ohio State is an amazing looking team, let me tell you! Despite all the talent they had on display last night, what really makes them intriguing is a freshman who was NOT playing due to recovery from surgery on a wrist injury....a fellow by the name of Greg Oden, who is expected to be the next Patrick Ewing, and besides Shaquille O'Neal, could be the best Big Man to come into the college ranks in the past thirty years. Too bad I had to take off to catch up with a former co-worker and friend of mine at the radio station(and do some groveling for one particular job reference)....but thanks to the miracle of DirectTV DVR, I am about to go downstairs, finish some laundry and check out the finish!

Mmmmmm...hot food!

2006-11-26T10:45:00.000-06:00

Well, using the old-fashioned dial-up internet to post this message...on my final day of Thanksgiving vacation at the parents house in my hometown! Have had a pretty good visit, but am looking forward to getting back to the job search this week, and finding out if unemployment will continue after quitting my Wal-Mart job. I see The Rochester Catholic Schools system is looking for a hot lunch aide. Sounds like a yummy job! Watched my number one Florida Gators take one on the chin against Kansas in Las Vegas late Saturday night....was a great finish, though! Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

Gym Rat Time!

2006-11-15T09:17:00.000-06:00

I love late November and the kickoff of the college basketball season! While I don't pay particularly close attention to it like I do come March Madness time...I do enjoy getting back in the spirit of being a "gym rat." One of the things I miss, and have been contemplating as a single dude...is finding a job of "announcing" a high school region radio broadcast somewhere...and I have scouted a few opportunities...but have fallen just short of applying for one. One reason I am so hesitant is the fact that I know the hard work that SHOULD be put into such an endeavor in order to make it a success for those grandparents/busy parents who might be listening as their child gets their name announced after making a big play....I was a color analyst for KFIL in Preston, MN for nearly 7 years...and did not envy the task my counterpart had of keeping track of those guys from second to second! I saw how it really consumed them, and I even have a pastor who came from that background, and has shared his experiences...good and bad...on a number of occasions.

In any case, I hope I can figure out a way, and am able to....get involved somehow in helping out an extra-curricular high school sports endeavor this winter as I continue to seek employment! Wether it be going for the slave-like hours of a sports broadcasting career somewhere, or just simply volunteering my services at a local gym!

Checked out the defending champions
and watched a bit of Indiana/Butler and Gonzaga/Rice Wednesday night...and am looking forward to catching a few other games soon...wether it be in the local gyms, or on the television!

go, go gadget!

2006-11-10T08:44:00.000-06:00

Not much time to post today....check out my still-to-be-developed myspace page at http://www.myspace.com/tiredofvikes

Snow has arrived here in Southeastern Minnesota....and I've got 14 hours of work in the next 48....including almost all daylight hours needed to help my buddy Bill, shovel! GRRRRR!

Anyhoo...speaking of...better get to it....but check out my peeps blogs from the journeychurch.net blog page this week! Next week...I'll have much more time to write...as the 17th appears to be my last day at Wal-Mart!

um, whaaa?

2006-10-30T11:05:00.000-06:00

What a fun, yet challenging week! Our church group got together for a fun flag-football contest Sunday afternoon on what turned out to be a picture-perfect fall day!...Definitely a highlight for what continues to be an otherwise mundane existence as a Wal-Mart cashier! Looks like I'll be getting the Thankgiving holiday off, though....as I shall keep you posted on the next job that I'll be taking, while continuing to file for unemployment!(and hopefully....receving a bit more benifits while I target that new full-time radio gig that I just KNOW is still out there somewhere!)

Now....Chew on this if you want to join my worry-wart club!

TOV'S TOP TEN MOVIES...AND SHORT REVIEWS OF A FEW

2006-10-13T09:05:00.000-06:00

I once compiled a "favorites" list of my all-time movies at Yahoo!....and thought I'd go ahead and share a bit of it here today! Those from my "Wild At Heart" Men's Bible study Week one sharing already heard of a few of my favs...but let's get a more in-depth look inside my brain, shall we?

10. The Fugitive(1993 drama/thriller) Starring Harrison Ford, Tommy Lee Jones

9. There's Something About Mary(1998 comedy) Starring Ben Stiller, Cameron Diaz

8. Gladiator(2000 Drama/Action) Starring Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix

7. Top Gun (1986 Drama/Action) Starring Tom Cruise, Kelly McGillis

6. Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back (1980 Science Fiction) Starring Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford

now...the top five, with a couple of reviews within...and a couple other Movies I have reviewed, and where they rank in my top 60 so far...

5. Planes, Trains and Automobiles(1987 Comedy) Starring Steve Martin, John Candy

4. Red Dawn(1984 Action/Drama) Starring Patrick Swayze, Charlie Sheen

The year is 1984...

Reganomics is in full swing...The Soviets have mirrored the U.S's boycott of the 1980 Moscow Olympics by foregoing competition in Los Angeles....22 Americans are freed from Cuba, thanks to Jesse Jackson's visits with Fidel Castro...Although "Glasnost" continues between Reagan and Gorbachev...the Red phone continues to be a focal point in the buildup of nuclear weapons between the two Superpowers...so the question lingers...If this country were to be invaded, would untrained civilians.... who the majority of would not have any idea about military tactics.... have enough fiber to grab their firearms and engage in guerrilla warfare against enemy forces that have been trained in the art of combat? The recent War against Terrorism in the aftermath of 9/11 re-raises the question...and though the storytelling in this movie is a bit cheesy by today's standards...it is well worth a look towards many issues that face us as a society today...the place of teenagers remains stereotyped as beneath adults...but this movie goes on to tell the story of a small group of smalltown valued teens that the plot says can overcome an army....not the most believable story...yet it helps those of their age watching to better understand what it takes to become an adult...patience, sacrifice, and love and family values! Something that, In my opinion, has been dwindling in the past two decades of the buildup of information technology, cell phones...and advanced partying!

3. Pulp Fiction (1994 Drama) Starring John Travolta, Samuel L. Jackson

If not faced with the unneccessary stereotypes of Drug users and underworld dealings...this movie gets #1 ahead of my favorite comedy and action/suspense films.

Classic Dialogue...including Marcellus Wallace's(Ving Rhames) discussions of laying out pain and prophesy, Jule's(Samuel Jackson) Thumping Bible verse killings and thoughts about life while in a pressure-packed scene in a diner at the end...and the cool, swimming direction of the Wolf(Harvey Keitel), when he comes to clean up a bloody mess!

The interesting way the scenes shift in time and location throughout the film, yet are able to be tied in together... also makes this movie different than any classic I have ever seen.

2. Dumb and Dumber (1994, Comedy) Starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels

1. Predator (1987 Action) Starring Arnold Swarzennegger, Carl Weathers and Jesse "the body" Ventura

Only thing I'll say about the number one choice....saw it on the big screen when I was only 16...so suffice to say....it was a memorable first view....a scary concept...an alien that hunts humans like humans hunt animals.....WHOA!

and here are a couple others on my list you should read about...

30. The Cable Guy (1996 Dark Comedy) Starring Jim Carrey and Matthew Broderick

This Movie is Darkly funny, but the two main charachters(played by Carrey and Broderick) ...give it just the right "twist."(the password is "nipple!")

Jim Carrey plunges into the demonic as a cable-TV installer ``who can be your best friend or your worst enemy.'' Seemingly babysat by the boob tube as a child...the disturbing mixture of psychopath and lonely soul bred from his mother's ignorance lights up the screen with his lispy, yet comedic dialogue.("would you like some ju-uuice?"..after informing his would-be friend Steven Kovacs(played by Matt Broderick)that he brought and paid for a prostitute, rather than a "chance" meet-and-sleep. Chosen by the cable guy to be his buddy/victim, the earnest Kovacs is also the only character to root for in this movie. The film, directed by Ben Stiller, takes a promising leap when it suggests that everybody is a slave to the tube...which in this digital age...is not that bad of a suggestion...Steven is shown nursing his broken heart by watching Tony Robbins infomercials and relentlessly channel surfing. He even uses the TV as an aid in getting his girlfriend back. One of the funniest moments(besides the basketball game, where Carrey's charachter uses a bent-over player's back to sky to the hoop for a slam-dunk the rim and shatter the backboard to the sound of Filter's "Hey Man, Nice Shot")...was the "battle" scene at the theme restaurant "Medival Times" when the Cable freak re-creates dialogue from the season 2 episode of the original Star Trek series, "Amok Time"..where Spock appears to kill Kirk in a Vulcan mating ritual-related battle....music and everything! Hilarious!
If you like cheese and have extensive TV trivia knowledge...and are entertained by the wackiness of Carrey to the straight-man-type Broderick...you'll love this film!

54.(even though I own the DVD among only about 8 total)
Blackhawk Down(2001) Starring Josh Hartnett, Eric Bana

It was a terrifying day in early October, 1993 that will not be forgotten by me! Reading the Novel from Mark Bowden...and the firsthand account by captured Pilot Michael Durant..in his book "In the Company Of Heros"...and numerous other accounts written...has educated me on the events surrounding "Operation:Restore Hope"...The U.S. was looking to keep strutting it's feathers following successful operations in Grenada, Panama, and Gulf War I in 1991 amongst other conflicts. After all, a genocide of starvation was in progress and had been seemingly neverending since the overthrow of socialist Dictator Siad Barre in 1991. Clan Leader Mohammed Farah Aidid and his Habr Gidr mates were taking as many pot shots at relief workers and QRF's as possible...with Khat-chewing gunmen with no-care attitudes mowing down thousands of innocents. The mission to capture two of his high-ranking officials in the volatile and dangerous Bakara Market on 10/3/03 turned quickly south after Wolcott's Blackhawk went down, with Durant to follow shortly. The bravery from ALL the soldiers...including Postumous Medal Of Honor Winners Randy Shugart and Gary Gordon...is well documented, if not so different from Bowden's written accounts.

Despite the differences...including names, like the Gung-Ho Desk Clerk...and placings...like Seargeant Matt Eversmann...who was with McKnight's convoy in the book...but leading his own team in the book....I found this to be an emotionally compelling movie...with Acadamy Award Winning Sound Effect editing...and a masterfully done, though quickly put together-from-what-I-understand Soundtrack by Hans Zimmer...

If you like action and Drama...this movie has it all..."Rangers Lead the Way...All the Way.." and NSDQ!(Night Stalkers Don't Quit!)

and I can't resist how dissapointed I was with the final installment of the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy...nonetheless at number

60. Star Wars: Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith(2005 Science Fiction) Starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen

*****spoiler alert****
"Hello, I'm Senator Palpatine. I'm a Sith Lord. My race is known for lying and deception. Could I interest you in a dubious solution to all your problems?"

Anakin says: "durrr..Sure! Even though I actually have no reason to believe you...I am compelled to deny my lifetime of hard work, training, and benevolence in exchange for a vague promise about a cure for a potential ailment my wife may have, based on a premonition from a 20-second dream sequence!"

Meanwhile...Yoda says "feel the force AROUND ME!"...EVEN THOUGH I'M ABLE TO DETECT EMOTIONAL CHANGES IN SOMEONE'S PERSONALITY(ie: fear in his pupils and fellow jedi), I WAS SOMEHOW UNABLE TO DETECT A CONSPIRACY INVOLVING SOME TWO QUADRILLION STORMTROOPERS AND EVERYONE IN THE FRIGGIN' REPUBLIC!"

I didn't think it was possible to be more unimpressed with Star Wars. Today, I stand corrected. If you were unfortunate enough to hear your stupid co-workers yammering on about Lucas' latest technically driven episode, you might have heard them saying something like "I didn't like the first two, but this one was good!" When I ask why, these people have trouble responding because it's hard to talk with George Lucas' hypnosis fully entrenched since 1977! Perhaps the question I should be asking is "why didn't you like the other two movies if you liked this one?" Nothing has changed. You have the same vacant-looking actors running around, aimlessly bumping into things, an army of stupid, sensitive robots, and dialogue clumsy enough to warrant putting a handicap sticker on George Lucas' car. To Lucas' credit, he was tacitly shamed into not giving Jar Jar any talking lines in this movie. With Jar Jar's character no longer speaking to annoy you, Lucas filled the void by giving every robot in the movie stupid toy noises. So instead of doing something cool like having the robots chase after screaming children, they bitch and moan and say things like "ow" when they get their prosthetic limbs chopped off. Even worse are the idiots who scarf down these sub-childish morsels of comedic relief, playing into Lucas' shallow theatrics!

Even after pointing out these serious problems with the plot, Star Wars diehards will still try to get you to admit one thing: "you have to admit that the special effects were good, right?"

NEWS FLASH: Episode III had no special effects.

They're not "special effects" anymore when they're found in EVERY SCENE. Lucas has done the seemingly impossible: he has made something that was once so unique that people called it "special" by name, and turned it into something so ordinary that nobody raises an eyebrow during a scene where a guy is having a sword fight on the back of a giant beast. By the way, I have to admit that the creature design was very creative in this episode; modeled after frilled lizards and ticks, Lucas tapped the well of innovation dry on this one. Congratulations Lucas, we don't care about "special" effects anymore!

In conclusion, I just want to ask "IS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO COME UP WITH A COOL STAR WARS CHARACHTER NAME ANYMORE? GENERAL GREVIOUS?!! What, Lucas?...were you tired of thinking up awesome names like "Lord Dooku" and "Nute Gunray" for your bad guys? Why not just call all your characters "Evil" and "Bad" next time? All Grievous needed was a monocle, and a large black moustache that he could twirl as he cackled "I'll get you, if it's the last thing I do!"

What a dissapointing ending to an otherwise kick-butt original classic sci-fi series!

and there you have it! Now go enjoy the movies in a heated theater near you this winter!

IS IT OVER YET?

2006-10-05T15:27:00.000-06:00

You know what might possibly make Twins fans more suicidal? That's right: Insurance runs! Nick Swisher leads off the ninth inning of Wednesday afternoon's loss with a double, and Marco Scutaro -- just say the word, OHHH!!!!! ... Scu-Scu-Scutaro! -- could bring him home. Look! The Twins have...remember they have Joe Nathan! He's just warming up, though. Scu-Scu-Scutaro grounds Swisher to third. And now Nathan is coming in.

How come no one has mentioned how much Marco Scutaro looks like Scott Baio??? This is an egregious oversight.

WILD PITCH! Another run scores. We don't mean to imply that the Twins are toast, but there are buzzards being vivisected by the Metrodome's air conditioning system.

Joe Nathan doesn't look so hot, which is probably because he plays for the Twins, who, at this rate, will be hit by buses as soon as they leave the dome. Kotsay doesn't hit an inside-the-parker this time, fouling out. To the bottom of the ninth....eh...two on, two out...Punto pops out for the Twins.... over. Poor kids.

A's 5, Twins 2

(A's lead best of five series two games to none heading out West)

BOOF?!

2006-10-04T11:23:00.001-06:00

If Johan Santana couldn't lift the heavily favored Minnesota Twins over Frank Thomas and the Oakland A's, can rookie Boof Bonser? The righty is going up against the veteran Esteban Loiza in today's must-win Game 2. Ron Gardenhire managed the Twins to victory in the Central on an insane post-All-Star break tear, but yesterday showed that his record isn't enough in the post-season: the huge, huge bats of Joe Mauer, Michael Cuddyer, Torii Hunter and Justin Morneau need to come alive today, before Oakland puts the Twins in a serious hole.

BTW...wasn't Boof the girlfriend of "Teen Wolf" played by Michael J. Fox in the '80's?! Ah, the memories!

Name a famous band that starts with the letter "R"

2006-09-22T11:14:00.000-05:00

Radiohead? That's the best answer the most of 100 people surveyed on the streets of Los Angeles could come up with? Come on! AND THE STONES DIDN'T EVEN MAKE THE TOP 5?!! R.E.M and Red Hot Chili Peppers were on there, too....All I could come up with was RATT(and Rush)...LOL...

Got my first paychecks from Wal-Mart today....nice to know life can continue with the credit card and cell phone bills and holing up in Bill and Sara's basement for now...until something else better comes along in the radio world. I'm really missing my blabbing over the microphone...but it's been cool making small talk as I check customers out about 30 hours per week! Hope your lives are going smoothly, reader! That's all for this installment...except...CAN YOU NAME EACH "LEVEL" OF EXISTENCE ON THIS FUNNY "SIMPSONS" INTRO CLIP? I could get through the atom, molecule, DNA and DNA strand parts...but was unsure if something was being represented between the skin and Homer's bald head! Whaddya think?

Days at Bill and Sara's have begun!

2006-09-15T16:54:00.000-05:00

Well, this past week has been great...as I have officially moved in with good church friends, Bill and Sara Ellingson....but I must believe there is something out there for me in life...especially in the profession I have grown to love so much....radio. It has been a tough few weeks after being let go by Cumulus because of cutbacks....I see many major corporations are cutting hundreds or even thousands more jobs....Ford Motor company comes to mind first, and today...I saw Blockbuster Video was pulling out of Rochester....due mostly in part to all the competition from online giants like NETFLIX and such, methinks....that's a few dozen jobs, they say....

Well, today....I was looking at my usual "list" of internet job searches...and happened to catch a glance at a couple jobs posted just over the past couple days with Family radio of LaCrosse, Wisconsin...The jobs are a morning co-host(and I am thinking since it says "midwest active rocker" it might be on the hard rock/heavy metal station)....and evenings on powerhouse country station, KQYB....I shall apply for both, methinks...but despite my fifteen years of experience...am not quite sure if I can handle either at this point....it will be nice to get some feedback on my MP3 demo, regardless! Wish me luck!

LOW PRICES GREAT...CONSTITUTION....NOT SO BECAUSE OF IT

2006-09-03T08:58:00.000-05:00

GO, BUCCANEERS!
Well, I officially began my solo Wal-Mart Cashiering last night...as we continue what should be an extremely crazy labor day weekend. Alot of interesting things happened....including something that prompted me to reflect on a Pastor Rich message during the "emotional rollercoaster" series...where he pointed out how god really hopes we can reflect on our past when trying to get through a new road block in our lives. Of course...those that know me, or are reading this blog may be aware of how I was laid off from a career in radio after it was determined a computer could do my job....a determination made by people in a big, stuffy office in Atlanta, Georgia that never got to know me, or my passion for serving my community. Well, I am praying over something that happened while I was checking out a customer. It turns out that shopper was none other than the daughter of my high school drama teacher....a girl I probably had only seen once since I graduated and she was in the ninth grade. For those that may not know....one of my big life-changing moments came in my senior year largely because of that high school drama teacher.....what I like to call my "awakening" from shyness as a young kid. Indeed, it does appear god has given me something to chew on as far as what the message may have been....I am convinced there was one. Feel free to leave me any questions or comments as I ponder this amazing event!

WORLD'S LARGEST HDTV

2006-08-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

taken from one of my linked websites, http://www.deadspin.com

The University of Texas has installed the world's largest HDTV at Royal-Memorial stadium, because... because they can, I guess. They've got a bunch of money to spend, and hey, no college football experience is completely without a 1608-inch HDTV in the endzone.
Factoids:
• The screen is 55 feet tall by 134 feet wide
• The university had to upgrade its utilities capacity to accommodate its power needs• 40 5-ton air conditioning units are required to cool it
• The heads of the gounding bolts are 5 inches wide
• It is, for the next few months, the world's largest HDTV in existence
• Every visitor who sets foot in the stadium will be blind before February

That last one, I can't back up with any sort of medical proof.

For the amount of money they spent on it, they probably could've paid off enough people to get Vince Young five or six more years of eligibility, which probably would've been a better investment.

MORE ON BRYANT "BUMBLE" GUMBLE DEBACLE

2006-08-21T19:51:00.001-05:00

Recently, I told you about the NFL Network's lead play-by-play man, who has opened his famously big mouth again. Known best for his 15 years on NBC's "Today Show"...Bryant Gumbel is the current host of HBO's "Real Sports" program, and is no stranger to controversy. First, in 1989, he wrote a memo to Today Show executive producer Marty Ryan, which was critical of other Today Show personalities. This memo was leaked to the press. In the memo, Gumbel commented that infamous weatherman and 100-year-old Birthday wisher Willard Scott "holds the show hostage to his assortment of whims, wishes, birthdays and bad taste...This guy is killing us and no one's even trying to rein him in." He even commented that Gene Shalit's movie reviews "are often late and his interviews aren't very good."
There was enough negative backlash in regard to Gumbel's comments toward Scott, that Gumbel was shown making up with the much-loved Willard live on The Today Show.

Then, during this past Winter Olympics in Italy....Gumbel said the following: "Finally, tonight, the Winter Games. Count me among those who don’t like them and won’t watch them ... Because they’re so trying, maybe over the next three weeks we should all try too. Like, try not to be incredulous when someone attempts to link these games to those of the ancient Greeks who never heard of skating or skiing. So try not to laugh when someone says these are the world’s greatest athletes, despite a paucity of blacks that makes the Winter Games look like a GOP convention. Try not to point out that something’s not really a sport if a pseudo-athlete waits in what’s called a kiss-and-cry area, while some panel of subjective judges decides who won ... So if only to hasten the arrival of the day they’re done, when we can move on to March Madness — for God’s sake, let the games begin."........:rolleyes

Now, the man once dubbed "best morning TV interviewer" in the nation had the audacity to ask if outgoing NFL commissioner Paul Tagliabue show his successor "where he keeps Gene Upshaw's leash."...in reference to the African-American man that leads the players union.

Now....I comment that If the white man can be an anti-semite, and a racist....Bryant Gumbel can certainly at the least....be called a Bigot! It seems former Minnesota Vikings' running back and players union rep for the team for several years....Robert Smith...agrees with me!

Smith was quoted as accusing the TV host of both desperation and jealousy.
"Bryant Gumbel has fallen in recent times,'' Smith told SI.com on Tuesday. "He's desperate to have a respected, national voice again, but the problem is a lot of people aren't listening anymore. So you've got to say something like that to get attention for yourself. But he's misinformed.
"To me, this is Gumbel's Dan Rather-type mistake. He's someone who has been around for a while and has some credibility, but who wants to believe a certain perception. I believe part of it with Gumbel is that Gene is a much more powerful black man than he is. And he's jealous of Gene's power and position. I think Gumbel's even jealous of where his former [NBC's Today] co-host Katie Couric is, and how she's moved on to a more powerful position and he still hasn't.''

I couldn't agree more! Kudos to you, Robert Smith!

Inspirations needed

2006-08-15T15:28:00.000-05:00

Well, for those that may read and follow my life....it has been a rough week. I lost my job, and have been kinda "floating" out and about...trying to figure out the next step I want to take in my life. Quiet prayer seems to help the focus for now, and church friends have been a great help with their suggestions and thoughts.....but it seems "the root" of the motivational problem continues to linger. To put it simple, I'm still being a bit of a scaredy cat, and am hoping my daily searches of the internet, and a trip to the workforce center this week can give me some new focuses. I'm looking forward to gathering with the fellowship of my church tonight and later this week....but for now....I'll finish up sorting out my "rollercoaster" of feelings and hopefully, press forward!