Sunday, July 26, 2009
no LIFE group....so needing to put my notes somewhere
Well, It was a god-speaking, disheartening up-and-down kind of day this last Sunday in July of 2009. But as there was no weekly LIFE group to meet at my church and I have been away so long without sharing with ANYONE(just a part of life I am going to have to continue to try and deal with)...I figured I'd better go ahead and at least jot down a few things about Sunday's message of "The Cage of Failure."
Acts 16 explains where God wanted to lead Paul. As was explained on Sunday, there are just things God will do, directly or indirectly...to put us on the path we can best share the news and risk a dangerous life of telling others the Gospel. There are "Dead Ends" we run into and have to find another path...there are Detours WE DON'T SEE...and I agree with such a heavy heart how I do not sometimes like this. I do not like what God does to me when I can see his vision, but can't seem to offer up enough to let him control the paths I can take...and especially the time it might take to travel! I also wonder...what is it we see sometimes?...and more importantly...How in the world sometimes can we even understand what God is seeing? That second thought is the one I have an easier time with, because he is God, and I am not...so there really can't be a totally solid comprehension of it...only an "outline" God will provide through me sometimes.
Now to the thoughts I had on the second scripture reading....Acts 28:1-10....
I really think I have empathy right now for what Paul described with a "creature hanging from his hand."....with the exception that I think the viper has injected some kind of poison into me...and I am treating the bite as best I can through God. I am grateful that I am being encouraged to continue treating this wound of mine. And am grateful I am to the point where I can deal with any other potential snakes dancing around me, waiting to strike. And although I still can't deal with the one that has for now...seeped some venom in...I at least can continue to talk to God about it now, instead of keeping hate and vitriol inside...and fester this poison that has been put into me. There have been a couple different ways I have been dealing with getting back to total serenity over my issue with this snake that has bitten me...and I know perhaps it might be that particular road of risking and willing to look foolish in order to accomplish the serenity I seek...then again...I cannot go down that road without God....so I am going to have to continue and circle around the blocks and avenues on this particular growth in Christ issue, until God is ready for whatever he wants peace and understanding to be. I continue to promise God that IT WILL NOT BE ME that controls what path is the right one! I invite everyone who reads this now to pray..."God, choose my path...for I am willing to travel this way...I am ready to accept your love, and not the love I hope for here on Earth...but with you in heaven." "I just pray I can at least be put down the road that will vanquish this poison that has been left in me in whatever fashion your will takes me....and with a door open now on this cage of failure I have put myself in, I pray my faith in you and your will might free me, and allow me to better deal with my understanding of you and your great love." Amen.
Acts 16 explains where God wanted to lead Paul. As was explained on Sunday, there are just things God will do, directly or indirectly...to put us on the path we can best share the news and risk a dangerous life of telling others the Gospel. There are "Dead Ends" we run into and have to find another path...there are Detours WE DON'T SEE...and I agree with such a heavy heart how I do not sometimes like this. I do not like what God does to me when I can see his vision, but can't seem to offer up enough to let him control the paths I can take...and especially the time it might take to travel! I also wonder...what is it we see sometimes?...and more importantly...How in the world sometimes can we even understand what God is seeing? That second thought is the one I have an easier time with, because he is God, and I am not...so there really can't be a totally solid comprehension of it...only an "outline" God will provide through me sometimes.
Now to the thoughts I had on the second scripture reading....Acts 28:1-10....
I really think I have empathy right now for what Paul described with a "creature hanging from his hand."....with the exception that I think the viper has injected some kind of poison into me...and I am treating the bite as best I can through God. I am grateful that I am being encouraged to continue treating this wound of mine. And am grateful I am to the point where I can deal with any other potential snakes dancing around me, waiting to strike. And although I still can't deal with the one that has for now...seeped some venom in...I at least can continue to talk to God about it now, instead of keeping hate and vitriol inside...and fester this poison that has been put into me. There have been a couple different ways I have been dealing with getting back to total serenity over my issue with this snake that has bitten me...and I know perhaps it might be that particular road of risking and willing to look foolish in order to accomplish the serenity I seek...then again...I cannot go down that road without God....so I am going to have to continue and circle around the blocks and avenues on this particular growth in Christ issue, until God is ready for whatever he wants peace and understanding to be. I continue to promise God that IT WILL NOT BE ME that controls what path is the right one! I invite everyone who reads this now to pray..."God, choose my path...for I am willing to travel this way...I am ready to accept your love, and not the love I hope for here on Earth...but with you in heaven." "I just pray I can at least be put down the road that will vanquish this poison that has been left in me in whatever fashion your will takes me....and with a door open now on this cage of failure I have put myself in, I pray my faith in you and your will might free me, and allow me to better deal with my understanding of you and your great love." Amen.
