Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Most interesting facts about today....6/6/06
1. The Number of the Beast was originally 323, but it was changed to 666 on the orders of Pope Lethargy IV, because 323 was the password for his voicemail.
2. The Vatican's special preparations for 6-6-06 include a symposium at which leading exorcists discuss whether "The Omen" remake is a career misstep for Julia Stiles.
3. Marginal glosses in the oldest extant fragments of John's Apocalypse indicate that, while anyone without the mark of the Beast won't be able to "buy or sell," they might be able to search Froogle for bargains.
4. A careful parsing of the prophecies of Nostradamus indicate that he predicted great peril for June 6, 2006, including a surprisingly precise reference to "Strummin' With the Devil: A Bluegrass Tribute to Van Halen," released today.
5. The Great Fire of London in 1666 may have originally been a promotional tie-in for a theater production of "Ye Omene."
6. The world did end on June 6, 2006, but on that date according to the Julian calendar. So, like 10 days ago. Didn't you notice? There were dragons and fire and everything.
7. There are six letters in each of the names "Ronald Wilson Reagan," and when Reagan left office he lived at 666 St. Cloud Road in Bel Air. This indicates that the Antichrist made some terrible movies.
8. In Hebrew gematria, the letter "waw," roughly corresponding to "w," has the numerical value of six. Thus, three Ws together - as in the abbreviation for "world wide web," equals 666. Thus have we demonstrated the negligible value of a liberal arts education.
9. The Social Security Administration has never assigned the number 666 to anyone, because no metal guitarist could ever equal the blazing potency of the late Randy Rhoads.
10. If you call the telephone number 666-666-6666, you get Satan's house. His Infernal Majesty becomes particularly irate when contacted by telemarketers during the dinner hour.
11. Speculation that the "mark of the Beast" will take the form of bar codes or computer chips is incorrect. The mark of the Beast is actually conferred by Livestrong bracelets.
12. The most satanic fact of all: if you keep believing in numerology, eventually people will stop taking you seriously!
2. The Vatican's special preparations for 6-6-06 include a symposium at which leading exorcists discuss whether "The Omen" remake is a career misstep for Julia Stiles.
3. Marginal glosses in the oldest extant fragments of John's Apocalypse indicate that, while anyone without the mark of the Beast won't be able to "buy or sell," they might be able to search Froogle for bargains.
4. A careful parsing of the prophecies of Nostradamus indicate that he predicted great peril for June 6, 2006, including a surprisingly precise reference to "Strummin' With the Devil: A Bluegrass Tribute to Van Halen," released today.
5. The Great Fire of London in 1666 may have originally been a promotional tie-in for a theater production of "Ye Omene."
6. The world did end on June 6, 2006, but on that date according to the Julian calendar. So, like 10 days ago. Didn't you notice? There were dragons and fire and everything.
7. There are six letters in each of the names "Ronald Wilson Reagan," and when Reagan left office he lived at 666 St. Cloud Road in Bel Air. This indicates that the Antichrist made some terrible movies.
8. In Hebrew gematria, the letter "waw," roughly corresponding to "w," has the numerical value of six. Thus, three Ws together - as in the abbreviation for "world wide web," equals 666. Thus have we demonstrated the negligible value of a liberal arts education.
9. The Social Security Administration has never assigned the number 666 to anyone, because no metal guitarist could ever equal the blazing potency of the late Randy Rhoads.
10. If you call the telephone number 666-666-6666, you get Satan's house. His Infernal Majesty becomes particularly irate when contacted by telemarketers during the dinner hour.
11. Speculation that the "mark of the Beast" will take the form of bar codes or computer chips is incorrect. The mark of the Beast is actually conferred by Livestrong bracelets.
12. The most satanic fact of all: if you keep believing in numerology, eventually people will stop taking you seriously!
